#it certainly (in the vast majority of cases) isn’t the best way to support the victims

[innocet]

“Believe victims” =/= “immediately pursue punitive justice against an accused perpetrator”

[scriptmedic]

Mangled Mondays: Dislocated Shoulder

Dislocated Shoulder

Excerpted from Blood on the Page: A Writer's Compendium of Injuries, Section 1.4: Blunt Trauma > Appendages

Lethality Index

1/5

What Is It?

The human shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint between the glenoid (socket) and the head of the humerus (ball). Stabilized by muscles, tendons, and ligaments, the joint is fairly complicated. The scapula(shoulder blade) protects it at the rear; the acromion process at the top; and, in part, the clavicle (collarbone) at the front.

But the joint does have a weakness. A strong impact to the extended arm can essentially pop the ball out of the socket, known as a dislocation. (A partial dislocation is known as a subluxation.)

The most common – and least damaging – form of this injury is an anterior dislocation, when the head of the humerus pops forward out of the socket. As we’ll see, this is hardly benign and can involve fractures of the bones involved, but it’s certainly not as damaging as a posterior or inferior dislocation.

Therefore, it’s the anterior dislocation we’ll discuss here.

Clinical Signs:

· Deformity of the upper shoulder.

· Difficulty and pain trying to move the affected arm.

· Humeral head bulging under the skin.

Symptoms:

· Pain.

· Numbness and tingling in the arm, from the bone pressing against a nerve.

How Does It Happen?

There are a number of ways in which a shoulder can become dislocated, but the most common are when the character falls on outstretched arms or when the character suffers a blow to the shoulder with the arm extended.

These often occur in contact sports such as MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting, soccer, rugby, American football, or high-velocity sports such as motocross, cycling, and skiing.

Immediate Treatment

The primary treatment for a character with a dislocated shoulder is to sling and swathe the arm so that it’s tucked against the body, with the wrist across the chest and toward the opposite armpit. This can be done with a scarf, a large triangle bandage (“cravat”), a professional sling, or anything that can be improvised in the field.

Characters should receive the attention of a medical provider, but characters who have undergone reduction (relocation) of a dislocated shoulder will be familiar with the procedure. (Actually, there are a great many ways of reducing a shoulder; a few of the most popular are covered here.)

Definitive Treatment

Surgery / Hospitalization

Characters who have a shoulder reduced won’t require surgery or admission unless imaging determines a fracture; or if reduction in the ER is not possible due to (a) overmuscular upper body and/or (b) delayed presentation to ER, resulting in tight tendons and muscles impairing the physician’s efforts.

Emergency Department: Imaging

Characters with shoulder dislocations will have X-rays taken to ensure that there are no fractures of the glenoid or the humeral head. It’s possible, but unlikely, for these to happen in the process of the dislocation

Emergency Department: Sedation and Analgesia

There are two goals of sedation and analgesia in the ER.

The first goal is reduction of pain before, during, and after the procedure. Most of the pain of the dislocation will be eliminated when the shoulder is reduced, but not all of it.

The second is to reduce spasm of the muscles of the shoulder, which are fairly strong and can get in the way of reduction or make the procedure more difficult.

The simplest, and perhaps the most effective, way in which emergency providers can control pain is with a simple injection of lidocaine into the joint, which will numb the area, reduce pain, and cause the desired relaxation.

However, some providers will give a small dose of morphine and/or a small dose of a sedative like midazolam (Versed).

A low-dose infusion of ketamine can also be used, since it acts as both a sedative and an analgesic and is therefore an excellent single agent. This requires using an IV, whereas other methods are injected into the joint or can be used with oral medication.

However, a great many shoulders can be reduced without any pain medication at all, especially if the muscles haven’t had time to “freeze up” yet.

Emergency Department: Reduction

There are literally dozens of methods of reducing a dislocated shoulder, almost all of which are effective and well tolerated. (These do not include smashing the shoulder into any available wall; I’m looking at you, Lethal Weapon 2.) We’ll take a look at a few of them below, including what characters can do for themselves.

Kocher’s Method

The Kocher’s method of reducing the shoulder is a simple and straightforward one. It involves the provider helping the injured character tuck their elbow against their side with the elbow flexed and the forearm thus parallel to the floor.

The provider will then take the character’s affected wrist and move it laterally (away from the body) until there’s resistance. They’ll pull the elbow and upper arm forward a little bit, and then pull the wrist back across the body toward the opposite side.

The procedure takes less than a minute, and has a good success rate.

Cunningham Technique

This is perhaps the gentlest reduction technique around. The character is instructed to sit up comfortably, with their back fairly straight, and pull their shoulder blades together. The character will tuck the affected elbow against their body while the provider rests the character’s hand on their own elbow and supports the character’s elbow with their hand. The provider will then massage the trapezius, deltoid, and biceps with their free hand. As their thumb moves to the outside of the humeral head and toward the deltoid, they’ll gently nudge the humeral head back into the socket. This technique relies on relaxing the muscles rather than using any kind of force.

The Davos Technique

To perform this reduction technique, the character sits upright and flexes the hip and knee on the side of the dislocation. The character then clasps the fingers of both hands together around their flexed knee, or the provider will tie their wrists together with cravats or an elastic band.

(Can you say dramatic tension? Imagine the physician steps out of the room for a minute, and the villain walks in with the hero’s hands tied and their shoulder still out of place…)

Next, the provider sits on the patient’s foot to hold it stationary. The character is then told to relax their shoulder and arm muscles, let their head fall back, and let their shoulders roll forward with the arms extended. The humeral head should reduce.

In the Austere Environment

Because of its nature, a shoulder dislocation is quite easy to reduce in the field. There are risks and consequences if any of the relevant bones are broken, but the vast majority of shoulder dislocations don’t involve fractures.

Any of the above procedures should work quite well, but without strong analgesics, reducing the shoulder will take longer. The main thing getting in the way of reduction is muscle tension, so reductions should be fairly slow to prevent tightening.

Self-relocation

Sometimes a character will be on their own and won’t have the benefit of an assistant. In this case, they’ll need to help themselves.

The best bet is for the character to find some way of applying weight to their arm. The simplest way is for them to sit facing a doorknob and to grab it with their affected hand. (If they can tie their wrist to it that’s even better, since tension in the hand is part of the problem.) They’ll then lean back and support some of their weight with their arm. This may take several minutes, and isn’t always successful.

Another technique is for the character to reach up and behind the head, then reach for the opposite (“good”) shoulder. This should, theoretically, relocate the shoulder.

Neither of these techniques is foolproof or entirely likely to succeed, and the techniques will likely only be known to those who have dislocated their shoulders before.

However, most other techniques require a second person, and remember that this is fiction: outcomes are determined by what we want to have happen, not what might actually happen, so long as the act is relatively realistic.

The Rocky Road to Recovery

Capabilities Retained

Characters still have some use of their arm during the dislocation, including the hand and wrist, but won’t want to do much except hold their arm in place.

After the dislocation has been reduced, they will still have use of the hand, as well as all other limbs, neurocognitive function, etc.

Disabilities: Temporary

The shoulder that has been dislocated needs time in order to heal. Because of this, the character will need to keep the arm in a sling for at least one to two weeks (but more realistically, four). Failing to do so runs the risk of redislocation.

Disabilities: Permanent

Shoulder dislocations that don’t produce fractures almost never come with any permanent disabilities. However, it’s possible for the character to have damage to the nerves of the arm from either the dislocation or the reduction.

Features of Recovery: Hospital Stay

None.

Features of Recovery: PT/OT

Characters will need to strengthen their shoulder as it heals.

Initial therapy will aim to improve range of motion: raising the arm above the level of the shoulder, and rotating the elbow outward (elbow tucked against the chest, and wrist brought lateral to the body). After range of motion has returned, the goal becomes to strengthen the muscles.

Isometric strengthening:

The character will step up to a wall and almost touch it; they’ll push the thumb side of their wrist against the wall and press for 8–10 seconds. Next they’ll stand perpendicular to the wall and try to abduct their arm, meaning they’ll try to reach their arm out laterally to their body while pressing against the wall, again for 8-10 seconds. Next the character will bend their elbow so their lower arm is parallel to the floor. First they’ll try to externally rotate against the wall or doorway; then they’ll do the same for internal rotation (towards the opposite side of their body).

Weight training.

Characters who progress beyond isometric training will be encouraged to perform similar exercises with weights.

The first exercise will be to hold a weight – a can of soup works well – and will extend their arm laterally to the body and bring their hand toward shoulder height. Next they can lie on their side on the affected arm and hold the can or weight in front of them, and internally rotate the hand (toward the opposite hip).

The New Normal

Characters who completely recover from the injury will likely have no long-term consequences, though if they don’t stabilize their shoulder muscles with PT they may redislocate the arm.

Sometimes there will be some damage to the nerves of the shoulder, which may involve pain, numbness, and/or weakness both in the shoulder and down the arm. Again, physical therapy helps with these.

Future Risks

Your character will be at risk for redislocation of the same arm.

Total Recovery Time (Typical)

Sling: 1–4 weeks

Strength and flexibility:4–8 weeks

Sensory

Sights

The affected shoulder will look “off,” deformed. The humeral head may be visible under the skin, or the anterior aspects of the shoulder may simply look “out of place.”

Smells

None.

Sounds

Characters may hear an audible pop as the shoulder dislocates, and a pop or clunk may be audible as the shoulder relocates.

Sensations

As with sounds, the shoulder pops out and clunks back in. This may be audible only to the character with the dislocation, or may be audible to others too.

Medslang

A subluxation is something of an incomplete dislocation and is managed in the same way.

Abduction is movement away from the body in the same horizontal plane; that is, reaching out directly to the side.

Adduction is the opposite: bringing the body part back along the torso.

Internal rotation is rotation toward (and across) the body.

External rotation is rotation away from the body.

Anterior means forward (toward the front of the body), while posterior means backward or behind.

Reduction can refer to repositioning a dislocated or subluxated joint, or to bringing bone ends back to alignment in a fracture.

Key Points

· Shoulder dislocations are common, dramatic, and have few long-term complications; they are ideal for use in stories.

· Characters with shoulder dislocations might be able to set their own shoulders, but a second person is generally best.

· Setting the dislocation takes only a minute or two, but can be very painful; sudden movements are the enemy, as the goal is to relax the muscles, not tighten them.

· Characters will need a sling for 1-4 weeks (the younger, the longer) and will require PT to strengthen the stabilizer muscles after the fact.

[snapeaddict]

Hi, what do you say to the people who claim Regulus is the real Slytherin hero, and not Snape? To me RAB always seemed like a plot device and nothing more so I don't get why he's being worshipped... He's just another rich pureblood kid...

I say this is a very bad take, and it is disrespectful (that's a strong word for something that isn't really important but I cannot think of a softer version) of the actual people who enjoy his character. I'm going to write down some thoughts, but there's more to it than just what I would reply to them - allow me to ramble a little on the roots of this claim and on the thought process embraced by Snaters and Marauders apologists (I've seen that some people don't like this term, so I mean people who erase the Marauders' flaws and make them morally superior to Snape, justifying them being abusers and him being abused.)

The nonsense of comparing a plot device to a complex, layered character: Comparing Severus and Regulus is ludicrous. You are comparing one of the most (I would argue the most well-written and complex, but Dumbledore is quite something as well) well-written, accomplished character of the books to a plot device. It is indeed what Regulus is, no matter if his character could have been really interesting/seems to be interesting: we know very little of him, and he exists solely for the Slytherin locket plot. The very little we know of him certainly isn't enough to express any critical judgment of his character; he is mostly made out of white pages which are filled out by his fans, which is great, and by the people making this kind of argument, which is unfortunate.

The interest in the character only stems in his usefulness: I would argue that the vast majority of people making this claim do not care at all for the character himself, despite using him as a moral high ground. It is not his character which interests them, but how useful he can be to fuel their hate and biased claims. His personality? Having being sorted in Slytherin. His merits? Being a Slytherin. This is the only fact that matters, because it allows them to 'prove' that Snape wasn't a hero (being a hero does not mean being a good person, by the way) and diminishes Severus' merits. Using a character solely for the purpose of depreciating, downgrading another is not appreciating them: it's just completely hypocritical. This is often the kind of flat argument used by people opposed to social justice movements, if you will allow the broad comparison: using something you have never cared for before (often minority populations) in an attempt to depreciate something, even though the very fact you are using them for this purpose shows how little concerned you are with the actual people you are talking about. Well, it reminds me of this a bit. The true purpose is to try and impose your own views, and here they try to legitimise them by filling an almost inexistent character with their views to carry on with their agenda.

The sudden leniency toward privileged characters: Making such a claim in fact once again proves that Snaters have an extremely biased, subjective and elitist vision of what being good means, an opinion on what is moral integrity (and superiority because they keep comparing people), which they also apply to James and Sirius. I think Regulus is loved because he is a Black, respected by the fandom because he comes from a pureblood, rich family. It is very easy to prove: look at how much love Draco and Lucius get, despite being supporters of blood supremacy, active members of a terrorist group, using discriminatory insults on a daily basis, being actively supportive of the murders of muggle borns/participating in these murders [do not misinterpret this - I'm pointing out double standards, not saying they should not be loved. One's interest in a character does not depend on the character's morals]. Look at how respected Snape was in the fandom before book 6, when people thought he was a rich pureblood from an ancient family. Social hierarchy has a great impact on how people view characters, and they tend to be much more lenient toward privileged characters, because prestige is attractive, even in fiction. Similarly - but it is more concealed - there is the usual refusal to acknowledge that social inequalities do impact one's life, choices, and opportunities to be or do good. The quote "You didn't make good choices! You had good choices" (Little Fires Everywhere) works quite well in this context, especially regarding James and Severus, but also regarding the Blacks versus Severus. Severus' survival was completely, utterly dependent on his adherence to blood supremacist values. This must be taken into account - but weirdly, this is an argument that is often used to prove Sirius' moral superiority, because his family required him to share their beliefs. This is ignoring that despite his difficulties, he still beneficiated from a support system and privileges that others did not have access to. Similarly, you cannot compare Regulus' and Severus' choices. And in my opinion, both are tragic; but if we had to take part in Snaters' silly arguments, then I would remind them that Regulus effectively had no obligation to join Voldemort, his parents were not death eaters. The pressure both characters experienced certainly wasn't of the same nature - even perhaps not of the same intensity. But does comparing them makes any sense, again...

The social biases: While Snape is blamed for his decision to join the death Eaters (rightly), Regulus is praised for his decision to leave them. While Regulus is pitied because he came from a family who brought him up with this ideology (just like Draco is), which apparently takes off all responsibility from him, Severus' background is never considered as a factor which pushed him right into extremists' opened arms. Regulus' privilege is used as an excuse; Snape's social disadvantage and familial issues are, at best, ignored, at worst, interpreted as proof of his inherently bad nature. Some people associate his upbringing with him being bad, whether they want to acknowledge it or not. While Regulus is headcanonned as handsome, Snape is constantly described as 'greasy' and 'ugly' by these same people, and you can see exactly how important appearances are to them. I'm even going to argue that worshipping a rich, handsome, privileged pureblood must sound better to them than being fond of the 'greasy git', and I am also saying these are mostly internalised biases. When you read these claims carefully, it sounds like in the mind of these people, Regulus is more legitimate as Slytherin's hero because he is better - inherently. And it is easy to see why.

The double-standards and their disturbing roots: This is also plainly ignoring the fact that Regulus and Snape defected for the same reasons, if we must make comparisons. Voldemort was targeting one of their loved ones, Kreatur for the former and Lily for the later, which made them realise, because they are humans and thus not selfless, how wrong his methods were when they turned against them. However, in Snape's case, turning against Voldemort in an attempt to save Lily is often held as proof of his selfishness/absence of morality: he wanted her for himself, he only deflected because someone he liked was in danger. In Regulus' case however, his gesture is seen as heroic and compassionate. Why? Well, there are a variety of reasons apart from Snaters' double standards, but I have noticed that most of them seem to think of Lily as 'belonging' to either James or Snape, and think Snape unworthy of having ever had Lily as a friend because of some kind of deep rooted flaws he had even as a child ('He tried to hurt Petunia with accidental magic when he was 11, he was always bad'. In fact I should make a post about how horrible this claim is.) In Regulus' case however, wanting to save Kreatur is seen as an act of compassion. Why? Not only because they want to make Regulus look better than Snape. I think it is also because Kreatur is a house-elf, an inferior being: Regulus' wish to protect him becomes praiseworthy, laudable, because house-elves do not really deserve consideration. So wanting to save him becomes an act of generosity. Even when you're not thinking of the double standards, this way of thinking is disturbing. Snape also turned against Voldemort at the age of 20, 21? Like Regulus did if I recall? They weren't death Eaters for very long. They both actively fought to bring Voldemort down. It would be tremendously hypocritical, wrong and plain bad faith to think of Regulus' action as superior to Snape's 20 years of hard work to bring Voldemort down.

So why can't Snape be a hero? I think this claim is a confession. To me it shows a very simplistic vision of heroism, of good and bad, of models, and a complete refusal to consider the grey, sometimes praise the grey- it's a failure to accept the complexity of the human functioning. Thinking that the people we praise for certain actions, or consider to be examples must be flawless is vain, simply because it is unrealistic, and we could not admire them/relate to them/like or dislike them/learn from them if they were not like us, layered and flawed - but this is exactly what this claim desperately wants us to believe. Or rather, what Snaters want to believe, while imposing their very biased views of good and bad, themselves rooted in prejudices. This is why they are using a character that is mostly inexistent: an empty, one dimensional character can fulfil this aim. This is also why so many people fail to appreciate characters such as James, Sirius and Remus without completely ripping off their flaws, and thus complexness - they cannot be loved if you can find fault in them.

[icypantherwrites]

Changes Coming to Patreon; Back to AO3 Icy Goes

An abbreviated and slightly different version of a post I made on my Patreon this evening:

Several months ago I made the announcement that I was switching my main platform from AO3 to exclusively post my works on Patreon. I had hoped it would help with some of my mental health issues with the reasoning that Patreon was a platform with a smaller, dedicated audience and would be better than posting into the great unknown and feeling let down by the sheer number of hits but no sightings of the people behind them.

Unfortunately, this decision has not panned out the way I had hoped. To be completely honest, I feel even worse than I ever have before. I truly thought this switch would encourage more engagement from those that were on my Patreon given that everyone now had that exclusive access and knowing that they'd want to be involved and that I'd be okay with knowing only a literal handful of people might be reading. That has not been the case. And to be clear, that's on me for having those hopes and expectations because certainly no one at my Patreon is required to engage with my works; you pay a subscription fee each month, you get content, and more always comes. And I will certainly continue to post those works that Patreon supporters paid for and expect to see under the original outline of my Patreon, but at this time...

At this time I've made the decision to return to posting on AO3 and no longer make that content exclusive to Patreon.

Any of the exclusive one-shots that did post here will remain, but I'll be adding them to my AO3 archive as well and the chaptered fics will only be posting for early release tiers on Patreon going forward, not posting later for all tiers. They will all instead be made available on my AO3 and just like before you are welcome to read them there. To be clear: none of your access to content is changing. You will still be able to read all of my stories, but they will no longer exclusively be on Patreon.

It is really hard for me to post works (and yes, I know they are all finished, it's still hard). It is hard to post in the author's notes and ask for comments and engagement because it is not fun to post and feel like hardly anyone is reading, and harder still when very few do because it just tells me that the majority of people either don't read those requests or they ignore them. Both don't feel good. And doubly so when you consider the majority of my content is about support. Ironic, right? ;p

Just like when I made this original decision, I didn't come to this one lightly. After all, there was a reason I decided to step away from AO3. But trying to bribe y'all with extra content via engagement hasn't worked. I've actually had 7 people in the two months that I made this switch join the page and quit within a couple days (sometimes a couple hours), accessing all content (and no doubt spurred on by the sheer amount behind a paywall) and that's a slap in the face to me and makes me feel even worse. And I certainly don't want to turn my works into a pay-per-view where I open a shop and sell PDF copies of individual works because the money has never, ever, been what the Patreon has been about. The finances help me to justify spending the time writing the works to keep this page active and going, but the whole reason I created a Patreon was to have an engaged, local community where I could be myself a little bit more, be a little more honest than I normally allow myself to be, and to share exclusive works with all those who made that decision to come here and financially support me with the hope that would extend to mental and emotional support via engagement on the site ♥

There are over 100 people on my Patreon and on average not even 10% make an appearance. It feels like I am posting and posting and hardly anyone is reading and the whole point of posting works is to share them because fandom is something that is meant to be shared. It's an experience for us all, whether we're creators or consumers, and we cannot exist without the other. It's a circle of fanfiction.

AO3 wasn't the best for me mentally. But the alternative I decided to pursue has unfortunately been even worse. And yet I still can't help but want to share my creations, want to make those connections, want people to laugh and cry and find comfort and support and experience emotions or feelings they may never had had, to learn and grow, to just enjoy the whump and angst and find a little escape sometimes from reality. Writing has been so important to me, it's what has kept me going through some very low times although it's catch-22 as the posting part of that process can make me feel lower than when I started. But I push through and hope that things get better, always.

Planning out this Patreon has meant so much to me. Writing stories for it, setting up polls, getting to create cover banners, write commissions, and, most importantly, interact with all of you... it has kept me going. And in order for me to not hate this page, to not delete it, to not call it quits, I need to make this switch back to AO3 and the chance for a larger audience. And I truly hope you can understand why I am doing this. I truly hope that even though the vast amount of my works will now be technically "free" that you still remain a member of my Patreon as those "free" works are only possible due to this site. 

And to anyone reading this now on my Tumblr, please read the above. I only continue to post because of the financial support on my Patreon. There is now going to be a burst of content posting on my AO3 and lots more to come, but please don’t ever think that this is “free” because it was not free. 

And this isn’t to tell you to go join my Patreon (although if you’d like to, please feel free) but to remind you that it costs nothing to leave a comment on a story that you read and that doing so means everything to the creator. Please don’t see this change as just an endless buffet of fanfiction to consume. Please see it as what it is: a chance to engage, to be a part of a fandom, and to support a creator whether that’s financially emotionally or both. 

A gentle reminder that Patreon on the whole was never meant to be just a "how much can you get" type of site, but a way to show your support to creators you enjoy with little bonuses as incentives to check out higher pledged tiers and to stick around so the creator keeps wanting to make more content to share. This page will still have all the bonuses it has always had: the FMs, the previews and bonus snippets, the ability to commission, and, in the event they happen, all of the events and contests :) 

I'm sad that this change didn't work out the way I had hoped, but there's no such things as failures; it has been a learning experience. Thank you all for your patience with me as I muddle through this and try to make the best choices for my own mental health ♥ Thank you to all for your financial support of this Patreon that allows me to keep writing and thank you so much to all those who comment and engage and inspire me to keep writing ♥

Much love,

Icy

[mashounen2003]

Sonic opinions - 1

Honestly, I think it's time for me to give closure to the “Sonic fan phase” of my life. I’ll keep playing the games if they pique my interest, but in terms of the stories they tell and how their characters are portrayed, these games no longer appeal to me. The comic currently published by IDW isn’t complete garbage nor does it have so much drama and controversy surrounding it, in addition to having Whisper and Tangle, two characters I really like at least on a conceptual level, but the story and characterizations are leaving me deeply disappointed and sometimes fall even lower than the recent games written by Pontac & Graff, namely with regard to the characterization of Sonic himself.

The continuity of the TV series Sonic SatAM and the comics published by Archie was always the branch of the franchise that truly caught my attention and is my main source of inspiration for writing stories; in fact, SatAM was the way I found out about Sonic and became a fan in the first place. But this “North-American continuity” is already as dead as the Mega Man Legends saga, and it looks like the vast majority want to forget it as if each and every one of its elements and ideas inherently had just been a massive nightmare regardless of its execution by the writers. At best, the fandom currently sees this branch of Sonic as some silly “edgy” attempt to take the franchise seriously, something that may have been laudable but was always foolish and doomed to fail and is such a risky gamble that it's not worth trying again.

I'm also getting fed up with the Sonic fandom in general, despite sharing a lot of opinions with some individual fans. Yes, I know there are already many who have declared this for the most varied reasons, be it the “shipp wars”, something in Sonic or even the franchise as a whole suddenly becoming “cringe” due to a whim of a majority portion of the fandom, or the way Sonic reuses "hackneyed" tropes in an alleged demonstration of lack of originality; however, when someone gives Sonic the middle finger for this kind of reasons, they usually do it hypocritically.

No, what got me tired of the Sonic fandom is the way everyone becomes obsessed with picking one branch of the franchise, calling it "the true Sonic", claiming this is the only pure and genuine incarnation of the “soul of Sonic” (if there really is such a thing), marking as “foreigner” every character, concept or element from any other branch of the franchise, and demanding from the fans of those other branches to get on their knees and be thankful that the "True Fans (TM)" even allow them to stay in the fandom. Note that I’m not accusing fans of only one specific portion of the franchise: there are such people among fans of the videogames’ continuity, @skull001 being probably the worst offender, but there’s also that kind of people among the SatAM and Archie-Sonic fans, such as the “nostalgic” delusional pissbabies, blatantly homophobic and conservative, who are now supporting Twitter hashtags like “Rally4Sally” and “Udon4Sonic”. You may think this is actually something typical of all fandoms, but it’s not: this is truly something unique to the Sonic fandom; I don't see huge hordes of Mega Man fans bullying the Legends fandom or making fun of them for the way their favourite saga ended two decades ago; even in the Dragon Ball fandom, despite constant discussions about what is canon and what is not, there’s some kind of tacit consensus that GT and Super are two offshoots of the franchise, equally valid although not coexisting in one same fictional universe (although Shūeisha itself seems to officially support this view, which certainly helps prevent some discourse), while the only part of Dragon Ball universally despised (and rightly so) is Dragon Ball Evolution.

I'm sorry if this hurts some people’s sensibilities, but if I decide to write a story with any given set of characters, elements, concepts, setting, internal rules and whatnot, the only thing in my mind will be to write a mildly decent story. I'm not here to “honour” -let alone honour at all costs- some supposed legacy and traditions that some people say should be upheld by each and every Sonic content creator. And let’s be brutally frank: we’re talking about a franchise that started as platformer 16-bit videogames whose sole purpose was to show SEGA’s consoles were better and handled speed better than Nintendo's; SEGA never really intended to tell a story or portray its characters consistently, only later did the cast begin to receive more defined personalities and the games start telling stories because SEGA suddenly saw this would make them sell more, and even that varied wildly according to whatever seemed more convenient at the time; not to mention SEGA's unique habit of entering vicious cycles of failure and over-correction, where Sonic Team makes a few mistakes in a game that did everything else more or less well, SEGA throws away the entire game along with the foundations on which it was built and the story that was told by that game, Sonic Team makes a new game with absolutely everything replaced and makes mistakes again but those mistakes are different from those of the previous game, the process is repeated ad nauseam and no-one is ever satisfied with anything. A few Sonic fans trying to impose on every other fan a supposed single Sonic canon with some kind of official approval seal by SEGA & Sonic Team is something quite backward, because that single official canon almost never really existed, and if it does exist, it makes no sense and is internally inconsistent, dependent on the creation of new games, and very likely to be retconned, overwritten and modified at any time.

There are other "bad habits" of the Sonic fandom that have led me to break ties with them. One of them is the way many fans take one trait of a character, be it simply one of many facets of their personality or even a physical trait, and turn that into the entire personality of the character; many of those same fans are also massive hypocrites, complaining (albeit rightfully) about how SEGA oversimplifies Shadow into either “Sasuke the Hedgehog” or “Vegeta the Hedgehog”, but then they do the same as SEGA. One of the cases in which this is most evident is when they make Sonic's personality boil down to "gotta go fast" and "be a free spirit"; based on that, they denounce that Sonic saying "I would slow down for you" to one of his closest friends (even if Sonic and Sally weren’t a couple when he said that and/or you don’t support that shipp, it can be said she was at least one of his closest friends in the SatAM-Archie continuity) contradicts the very essence of the character, or they do something even worse: saying that "being a free spirit" means being away from your friends and not having "ties" (like... literal ties, made with ropes, the ones that are actually a bad thing) with anything or anyone. It's like when Goku is portrayed by Dragon Ball fans as far more insensitive than the actual way Akira Toriyama had conceived him and always wrote and portrayed him in his official work.

There are also the plainly disturbing ideas many fans seem to have about personal relationships, judging by the opinions they give about the relationships of Sonic and the rest of the cast. In addition to making everything revolve around vaguely defined words and concepts they throw right and left almost without thinking about their actual meaning, they also seem to believe that having friends and caring for them, or any kind of responsibility no matter what kind it is, is nothing but a drag, like rat-s*** stopping you on your way to "freedom" (this is just amazing: they say the entire Western canon is edgy and the British comic’s Sonic is a jerk, but if you think about this for a bit, these fans’ version of Sonic turns out to be even edgier and more of a jerk than Shadow in his spin-off videogame); in the case of Archie-Sonic, there are all the abuse apologists supporting Scourge and Fiona being a couple, even though you don’t need any “meta” analysis to see he’s (at the very least) verbally abusive towards her and had attracted her by posing as someone else in the first place.

[consultingwriters]

Hi, I tried to have an IUD put in today but couldn’t because I was too tight and in too much pain. Could you do a thing where Q is either fem or an omega and can’t have sex with James because of this? Maybe they go to a doctor?

Ackk you have my undying sympathies, they’re a bitch, and I have plenty of stories of my own regarding those sodding bitching things (I swear to god if the weather isn’t right IUDs can’t be inserted...) and while our issues weren’t the same I KNOW THE PAIN so I’m so sorry, I hope you’re okay and enjoy this fic-related tribute to the joy of gynecologist apps. Ahem. Jen.

-

Q had a truly impressive array of swear words at her disposal. Truly; Bond could honestly say he’d never encountered any human being with quite that vocabulary, some surprisingly imaginative, and hearing them spoken with her crisp and beautiful (and somewhat ridiculous) British accent was an unforgettable event.

Which Bond would care considerably more about if she wasn’t presently crushing his fingers into dust whilst splayed out on a medical bench.

Bond hated medical at the best of times. Bond had also never attended a doctor’s appointment with a woman, and certainly not for anything so intimate. However - given that this was “a two-way issue you utter cunt”, Bond had conceded that the very least he could do was show up for moral support.

Doctor Megan Walker was a lovely woman, and Bond had never seen somebody so menacing when armed with a speculum, a sentiment Q wholeheartedly shared.

“Yep, nothing amiss, per se,” she said lightly, as Q hissed through her teeth. “Q, you should try breathing.”

“I am,” Q managed, with truly unparalled vitriol; if she and Megan hadn’t been good friends out of work (and “no Bond, it doesn’t make things weird, we’re goddamn adults and she’s the best doctor in the building, she’s seen more of your internal organs than mine at this point”) it would have been, well. Rude was a kind word for it.

“Vaginisimus, and a suspected tilted womb, but given the former I can’t perfectly ascertain the latter.”

Q lifted her head. Bond blinked. “What now?”

“You can get dressed,” Megan smirked. “But yes: in short. Vaginisimus is when you involuntarily contract when it comes to penetration. There are a number of different things you can try; I can talk you through a few options, ranging from therapy to vaginal trainers, but there’s a host of possibilities. Absolutely treatable in the vast majority of cases, and you should see improvements fairly rapidly. Bond, you are presumably on board to assist?”

Bond blinked again. “... yes?” he managed, when it became patently obvious that he was expected to answer. Q twisted to him, her expression distinctly unimpressed. “Sorry. Yes, I am."

“Then why don’t you get dressed and more comfortable, and I’ll see you in a moment.”

Megan disappeared elegantly behind a curtain, leaving a still rather uncomfortable Q to retrieve her clothing. “It’s a good thing you’re not exactly hung like a horse,” she muttered to Bond, who honestly thought it was a rather unfair jab.

... and yet, given the stifled giggle he heard from behind the curtain, he was wearily certain that he was the only one labouring under that delusion.

[besttablaplayerinindia]

On the Web Music Theory Lessons - You Can Learn in a Much More Fun and Interactive Way

Let us not beat around the bush in regards to taking best tabla player in india, it isn't always easy to find the correct teacher for your requirements, nor can it be easy to get a teacher whose program can accommodate yours, or viceversa. Often, students will miss too many courses, the majority of times for valid reasons. If you reside in a small town, the degree of expertise of private teachers might not satisfy your demands, or suit your learning style. Teacher - student relationships are based on a beneficial learning experience. Many people have wasted time attempting to study on books independently. This"experience" most usually ends up being very bothersome as the learners hardly ever really reach the level they wish to achieve.

Attempting to study musical theory from your self is like trying to invent a new math; you simply require the assistance of a teacher to describe theories. Certainly, the hunt is bothersome and also you can easily give up in your goal to learn music theory. Don't give up! In the event that you recognized yourself at one of the above mentioned scenarios, (which you probably did in the event that you're taking to this time to read this article), there is a remedy. (Yes, now's the time when you can begin feeling relief about not having to give your goal). That remedy is on the web lessons. A hunt on the internet using simple key terms in Google will immediately reveal the vast amount of advice and courses available. Quite impressively, the key words"online music lessons" provide 1 140 000 search results in 0.30 seconds!

Is it really that good? Some popular subjects found in online lessons include how to learn the guitar, guitar moves for beginners and how to play the keyboard. You can also find on the web instructions on a variety of different instruments, like woodwinds and brass. However, on the web lessons are far from offering tutorials on tool playing with only. Theory lessons teach crucial theoretical concepts in depth which every great artist should understand and know.

You can literally find lessons on any part of music theory. Newer learners can study basic concepts like note pruning, easy rhythms, ear training, scales, chords and intervals. If you're at a higher level, you'll find courses on more advanced concepts such as complex and syncopated rhythms, 1-2 tone and modal scales, as an instance, the traditional pentatonic scale often within Claude Debussy's music. Other notions include different caliber of chords, transposition and chemical time signatures to list a couple different advantages.

In addition to this vast availability of concepts made accessible through online theory courses, many different advantages think about: the simple fact that you can study anywhere, anytime and at your own pace isn't a small one. It's not necessary to take a weekly lesson, especially for adults who have an active career, or even for younger people that participate in extracurricular activities or sports teams. Maybe not being forced to travel to and from courses is especially crucial for the adult who needs to commute to work everyday, or to get the parent who's come to be a private cab service for their children's numerous activities.

For a lot of youngsters, the fact of accomplishing interactive theory on the web will likely soon be sufficient to motivate them to help expand their own musical interest. Moreover, it instructs the young learner to be independent and participate in their or her own education, hence understanding how to be considered a self-taught student, an art that is likely to be most useful in every area of life. In addition to that, he or she will be learning and improving on computer and Internet skills.

Most sites provide premium quality lessons at an extremely reasonable price. You may even get video lessons, and take quizzes and tests. You get the outcome at the click of a mouse. The accessibility to a teacher can be available nearly 24 hours each day on a number of the websites. In case you compare price versus quality and availability of the instructor, you can certainly figure out that it may be well worth it. In actuality, having a teacher available for you anywhere and at anytime... is priceless! The importance of the theory itself Exactly why is music theory so essential? It is imperative to your general musicianship and of one's understanding of music irrespective of the instrument you are playing with. Consider your self playing street hockey and being the ideal goalscorer on your team.

So, you try the local team at the arena... simply you can't skate. See where this is going? The same is true for your own musician. You can learn to play an instrument quite well, but provided that you don't understand and appreciate the theory behind it, your music-playing will probably never really get any sense. You could be tempted to think differently, however you'll even realise how wrong you're for thinking so once you"see the light" supporting the theory of this music. Quite a few things can be accomplished by analyzing and understanding music theory. As an example, understanding recurrent chord progressions where you will get familiar will help you in memorizing a song, or in understanding"at which in fact the music is going". You will acquire a better understanding of their interpretation, as well as a thorough understanding of scales and key specifications.

This facet is crucial for every aspect of music and cannot be stressed enough! It's the foundation of western music. Recognizing time signatures in order to help you determine where in fact the powerful overcome ought to be executed is also essential. Mentioned above are a few essential concepts, however the more you study, the more you will detect and be more cautious! Yes, but... Things are just not the same in a traditional setting, with the one hour per week, where you want to follow along with everyone else's pace (frustrating if they are slower OR faster). In either scenario, you are not getting the money's worthit.

The teacher is available for your requirements (also to most of the additional students) just 1 hour each week. Perhaps you'll feel shy to ask the teacher for clarification infront of dozens of youthful minds... However, using an online setting, there would be no need to feel misplaced about requesting a"dumb" question. (even though, we all understand such questions do not exist, right?) 1 obstacle Don't panic! The single requirement to online lessons would be also, well, to gain use of the Internet. But I am presuming that if you are reading through this at the moment, chances are this aspect is already looked after. Therefore, this internet site you're on today maybe the clear answer. Best of luck with your internet studies! Oh, something else, will love learning the pentatonic scale.

[rockandrollfool]

My Music Is Better Than Your Music?

I was thinking to myself it’s all a bit boring and predictable isn’t it? The school of thought that goes something like ‘music isn’t quite what it used to be?’ It seems a regular utterance by some and I hate reading and hearing these opinions. In the words of Oscar Wilde “what they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination” (1890) That need for illogically holding onto the past in the hope that one can re-live the great glory days for pop music.

I fully understand that nostalgia can be a healthy pursuit. The happiness that is generated by fond memories can allow an individual to feel a complete sense of identity. I utterly subscribe to the idea of ‘the soundtrack of our lives’. That bands and music are inextricably linked to a sense of our own past. We can locate experiences on musical continuum. This breathes life into the self and elevates thoughts beyond mere existence. Salavatore in the fantasy novel Streams of Silvers asserts “Nostalgia is a necessary thing, I believe, and a way for all of us to find peace in that which we have accomplished, or even failed to accomplish (1989)

Where this notion segues into some rose tinted view that music was somehow better at a fixed point in time seems lost to me. The argument is not new however Ledsham (2016) offers that the debate is hundreds of years in the making. Tracing the initial discourse to tangible sense of romanticism and history, it seems surreal that folk music from the 1600’s had its detractors. Somewhere in that discussion the words “but it was better before” may seem in inaccessible however the argument feels based on a puritanical and misguided belief that things were somehow better in those ‘golden times’. Ledsham develops this further and suggest that history is very rarely neutral. It has to be rooted within a cultural context and given how many of us locate the idea of the ‘classic’ within our own frame of understanding then surely any opinion regarding the great and good within rock/pop becomes highly subjective. Therefore “when hearing music, you’re not hearing the sounds and appraising them, you’re enjoying a whole group of ideas about culture and history” Ledsham (2016) One is left to ask, could this mean a sort philosophical morality informs your taste and choices? Well they must influence surely. Our opinions are a mere expression of how we interact with culture and history. If that is the case then what of ‘music was better’ back then.

Prepare yourselves as The Beatles were a mere pop band. I don’t doubt their cultural significance in terms of them being a huge catalyst for social change, but this is a world away from them being the definitive and defining band of the last fifty years. Hanif Kureishi in considering The Beatles impact is firmly of the opinion that the Beatles courted media attention and that as a consequence of this they were able to speak ‘directly to the whole world’ that the ‘moptops’ were at the very epicentre of young people’s lives in the West “ and that “throughout the second half of the 60s the Beatles functioned as that rare but necessary and important channel, popularisers of esoteric ideas – about mysticism, about different forms of political involvement and about drugs” (Kureishi On-line) I mean the music was ok but come on best Band in the world? Honestly? You might say that they redefine music, you might also say their albums are beyond comparison. My culture and history would strongly disagree with yours. You are entitled to your opinion as am I.

Equally valid then is my offer that Freddie Mercury is not the greatest in fronting a band. Queen are utter rubbish and the very best you are getting from me is that they represent an inconsequential moment in the history of pop music. Unless of course you feel that at time when South Africa had embarked on oppressing and discriminating the vast majority of the population via the process of apartheid. Many touring bands were politically opposed to the regime and refused to play South Africa. Fred and the lads Queen played a series of gigs (ten) at Sun City, an entertainment complex located in Bophutswana. A sort of Las Vegas venue that appeared to ignore the death and violence beyond the confines of the setting.

When quizzed about the rationale to play Sun City Brian May (guitarist) claimed “the band is not political” and that apparently "we've thought a lot about the morals of it, and it is something we've decided to do.” John Deacon (bass player) in support of the stance said "throughout our career we've been a very non-political group," and referenced the situation in South Africa as “a bit of fuss, but apparently we're very popular down there”. The Guardian (2005)

One World One Vision eh lads? Ironically and in act of utter hypocrisy Queen played Live Aid a year later and offered all manner of treatise regarding poverty, Africa and doing good. The show must go on for Fred and the chaps. So tell me now music isn’t what it used to be. If this is your idea of the good old days then feel free to embrace and hold them dear. History and culture. Don’t you just love them. To all the purists that will now be screaming heresy, my opinion is as valid as yours. Not more so, though certainly not worth less.

The reality is the music scene has never been more diverse, though that eclecticism and creative output is equally valid as any other decade. I sense the reason people feel that music was better in some far off distant past is because they no longer attend those small yet dynamic venues where ‘the next big thing’ is just waiting to be found. So off get off your arse, attend gigs and venues and you won’t be disappointed. To quote David Bowie come and “rock and roll with me” (1974)

The Rock And Roll Fool April 2021

[nasco-office-furniture]

5 Easy Tips On Maintaining Your Office Furniture

Studies show that a work space in a helpless fix contrarily impacts profitability. This regularly lessens your capacity to center and denies you of general inspiration. This is the reason keeping up your office furniture is significant for efficiency. 

Keeping up your office furniture is regularly low on the rundown with regards to the appropriate support of one's workplace. Notwithstanding, as a fundamental piece of your office, appropriate support significantly affects the environment of your work environment. 

To guarantee that your profitability isn't influenced, here are a few hints on the best way to keep up your office furniture. 

Keeping up Your Office Furniture for Comfort and Productivity 

Office Chairs

Working with an old, separated office seat is awkward which thus, influences your capacity to be gainful. Here are the things you can do to keep up your office seat. 

Week after week Chair Maintenance

Upholstery: vacuum or gently brush to eliminate any earth. 

Cowhide: dust the seat with a perfect and delicate material. 

Vinyl: blend an answer of warm water and gentle cleanser to eliminate soil and afterward dry it with a build up free and delicate fabric. 

6-Month Chair Maintenance

Wooden chairs: utilize a sodden fabric or wipe to eliminate earth and dry it with a perfect cotton material. 

It's significant that you change and fix any screws or fasteners on your seat as this won't just guarantee it stays unblemished and delay its life expectancy yet additionally ensure your wellbeing too. 

Other Chair Care

Recall not to add a great deal of pressing factor or weight on your seat's armrests as their plan is to just withstand just the heaviness of your arms. Setting a great deal of weight on them makes them separate. 

Despite the fact that it might appear to be a pointless errand, dealing with your seat does ponder for your efficiency. Keeping up your office furniture assists you with staying more open to, permitting you to think all the more unmistakably and be more beneficial. 

Office Desks 

Once more, an untidy workplace contrarily impacts your capacity to be profitable and the vast majority of that messiness is around your work area. Your work area is where you lead the majority of your work which is the reason it's significant you keep it fit as a fiddle. Thus, clear the messiness and save everything in its place for simple recovery during your workday. 

Standard upkeep of your office work area requires normal tidying of its surface. Whatever material the surface is made of – regardless of whether it's wood or metal, utilize a dry fabric to eliminate the gathered residue and trash on top of it. To eliminate more difficult soil, choose a moist material. 

For cleaning, blend an answer of gentle cleanser and warm water for your fabric. Try not to utilize brutal synthetic substances as this frequently ruins your work area's surface. In any case, consistently counsel your work area producer's guidelines for care certainly. 

End 

While it might seem like keeping up office furniture is a superfluous errand, not doing so adversely influences your exhibition at work. Keeping up your office furniture improves your focus and generally efficiency. 

There are numerous approaches to sort out your working environment and this incorporates keeping up your office furniture too. With these simple tips, it doesn't take a ton of time and exertion so require a couple of moments of your chance to keep steady over it.

Related Links:

Office Chairs Abu Dhabi | Office Sofas | Home Office Furniture | Safes | Home Office Furniture

[bigskydreaming]

A big part of the reason I harp on NTT #55 and that time Bruce hit Dick after Jason’s death is to me, its just such a perfect example of the downsides of letting something like that go unaddressed. For fans of the whole family, because the ripple effects of letting it go unaddressed either in canon or largely in fandom as a whole....like, those affect every member of the family, even if you’re not particular a fan of Dick or Bruce specifically.

First off, I want to be perfectly clear.....I do believe that a large part of the problem in the writing itself is that the writers and various editors at DC didn’t view it as a father abusing his son. To them, I think it was simply an extreme example of Bruce’s grief getting the better of him....it was meant to be big, dramatic, dark, it was meant to hurt Dick and cause an even bigger division between them, but it wasn’t meant to be abuse, in their eyes, I don’t think. At the end of the day, as far as they were all concerned IMO, it was simply a punch, and Dick’s certainly taken worse in his years as a vigilante.

None of that changes the fact that what was depicted on the page was unequivocally abuse. And I particularly want to break down the mental components of the scene, because I do feel like even when this is mentioned in fandom or fics, the weight of it is rarely felt, because its so often implicitly compared with the lifetime of abuse Jason had before coming to live with Bruce, or the times Dick’s been hurt far worse, or any of a dozen different things. Bottom line is, even when its nominally held out as being abusive, it tends to be in a perfunctory kind of way like “okay, yes, you’re not supposed to hit your kids, that’s abuse, but ultimately it was still just a punch.”

If you’ve been fortunate to never have been abused by a parent, please understand and internalize this:

A punch is never just a punch. 

Or any form of physical abuse for that matter...the delivery isn’t the point. Its what it represents.

Even if its just one hit, and the abuse victim has been hit far more or far worse in fights or sparring or whatever.....the damage doesn’t come from the physical blow alone.

The far greater damage is to every single thing that person had until that point built up in their mind to be true about their parent and their relationship with that parent. 

Society teaches us that parents aren’t supposed to hurt their kids. More than that, its a parent’s job to protect their kids from harm, we’re told from a very young age....with none of this coming from just one single source, but everywhere around us. We’re immersed in this perception, via entertainment, via our teachers, via everything we’re taught about how to protect ourselves. 

What’s the first thing you learn as a kid, that you’re told you should do if someone or something makes you uncomfortable or afraid? ‘Tell your parents’....even if we never hear that advice from our parents themselves, to come to them, its the first thing teachers advise, etc....with there rarely being a caveat about what to do if your parent is the one making you uncomfortable and afraid. Society’s default message to kids doesn’t really factor that in....because those are the outliers, as far as society’s perception goes.

Even as we get older and we start to consume media where older kids and parents have tense relationships, fight a lot....the vast majority of them still end with some form of reconciliation, whether deserved or not, because the implicit understanding is even when families fight, when parents yell, at the end of the day its all okay, because the parents love them and only want whats best for them....because of course they do. That’s how it works. The exceptions, again, are outliers.

The problem is, those of us with abusive parents are just as immersed in these outside narratives as any child with non-abusive parents....even if we don’t get this same reassurance from our parents themselves. Not only does this make it particularly hard for abused children to recognize or acknowledge when they’ve been abused (my parent can’t have meant to hurt me, because they’re my parent, they love me, so its not like they abused me)....

But in addition to that, up until that first moment of actual abuse, up until that first true piece of evidence that our relationship with our parent is not the same as the message we’re immersed in about what it should and should not be....

Before that, in the absence of that, we hear the same narratives and messages everyone else does, about how parents are supposed to protect us, nurture us, be our last line of defense against those who would see to harm us. That they love us, that we should never have to be afraid of them, etc. We absorb these implicit beliefs, the same as any other child. We internalize them. We accept them. We believe them to be true. We believe this to be fact.

‘No matter how much we fight with a parent, they would never truly hurt us. Not on purpose. That’s the last thing they’d ever want, because at the end of the day no matter our disagreements, they love us and want what’s best for us, not for us to be afraid of them.’

A punch is never just a punch, when its from a parent.

Its also the end of that belief. That trust. That unspoken faith we had in the message we’d been taught over and over throughout our lives....

Because its hard to argue that a parent would never really want to hurt you, when you’ve been on the receiving end of a willful and deliberate attempt to hurt you.

Bruce may have been lashing out in his grief, but he didn’t try and take it back. He didn’t show remorse or look horrified by what he’d done. Instead he doubled down, loomed over Dick, glared at him, yelled things about Jason’s death being Dick’s fault, that Dick was jealous that Bruce had adopted Jason but not him, specifically calling up things that he knew were sore points for Dick, things he knew would hurt him....making it unequivocally clear that in this moment, yes, Bruce’s intent was to hurt Dick. For him to be cowed, intimidated, even afraid of him. And then Bruce told him to leave, and to leave his key behind.

And in Dick’s case, all of this is compounded by the fact that Bruce isn’t his biological father, had yet to even be named his adoptive father. Meaning, the unspoken and spoken messages and lessons we’re taught about a parent’s role, and what children can or should trust or expect of a parent...these were only ever things Dick believed (and I don’t think anyone would truly argue that Dick didn’t believe these things about Bruce, that he loved him, wanted to protect him, etc)....

The point being....these things were never taken for granted in this case, because Bruce wasn’t technically or even nominally Dick’s father by that point. They were only ever believed by Dick...because Bruce worked to convince Dick they were all true. Dick was a traumatized orphan when he first came to live with Bruce. No matter how quickly you yourself see or headcanon him as having ‘bounced back’ from that, so to speak....that was only possible in the first place by virtue of Bruce making him feel safe enough to do so. Feel loved enough to well, act like a kid who has love and support in his life. The Manor was only ever Dick’s home because Bruce made it his home. Made him believe it was home. That it was a safe place for him, a place to feel comfortable and secure in, a refuge from the trauma that had made it necessary for him to even need another home.

One punch shattered all of that.

Because there’s no way for it not to. Dick spent years by Bruce’s side as Batman. He knows better than anyone what Bruce looks like when he wants to intimidate, when he wants someone to be afraid of him. He just never expected to be on the receiving end of that, because up until that point, even at their worst or most contentious, Dick still carried that unspoken faith that Bruce loved him even if he was bad at showing it, and as such, he’d never hurt him, not deliberately, not on purpose.....because the very idea of that, we’re taught, is incompatible with love. They can’t coexist. Someone can’t love us, and be capable of even a moment of that.

Life, unfortunately, is rarely that simple.

Make no mistake, someone can love someone and still abuse them. Our tendency in society is also to try and label people as certain things, as though they embody the description we give to them, even when that description originally is just meant to be of an action. So we call people abusive in general, even if at the start, its a specific action that’s abusive. Because abuse is ultimately an action. An abusive action that only turns into an abusive behavior when its repeated. An abusive behavior that only belongs to an abusive person, when that behavior becomes characteristic of that person.

And so whatever it was that Dick had specifically internalized about his and Bruce’s relationship by that point, whether it was that Bruce would never hurt him because Bruce was still his father for all intents and purposes, and loved him, and had made this his home, wanted it to be Dick’s home, for him to feel like it was his too...

One punch didn’t just split his lip and knock him to the floor while Bruce towered over him and yelled blame at him. It also made a lie of everything Bruce had previously worked to impart to Dick about his place here, his home, his relationship with Dick and what Dick could expect of him: to always be safe here, with him, to be wanted.

The reason I said at the start I believed that letting all of this go unaddressed was detrimental to the whole franchise and fandom, even if you’re not a fan of Dick or Bruce’s specifically - that goes back to what I said about how abuse initially is just a description of an action, before it becomes a behavior, and through enough instances of behavior, becomes characteristic enough of someone that they themselves are just described as abusive.

Because at this stage in the comics, this point in time.....Bruce’s abuse of his children is still limited to one singular scene, enacted in a time of extreme grief and emotional turmoil.

Make no mistake, I’m not for a second saying that excuses what Bruce did....because no matter his headspace, that doesn’t change the effect his actions still had on Dick’s headspace. An “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I was grieving” alone can’t singlehandedly repair the kind of damage that was done to a child’s belief in his father’s inability to truly do him harm, or even want to.

But its a place to start from, and the problem is.....by never actually starting from that place, by never working from THERE, specifically, to stem the behavior that ultimately is seen repeating at various points in the comics....a precedent is made. That he can do this and just have it papered over with a mere refusal to ever really acknowledge or address it, and life will superficially go on the same, as though something fundamental hasn’t changed, shifted....with nothing nearly as impactful put in motion in counterpoint to it, to push back against everything this scene did and implied about their relationship to either of them.

I admit to being somewhat triggerhappy on this subject, lol, but see, the bottom line is ultimately, fandom’s general refusal to give this particular scene real acknowledgment or weight has nothing to do with being a Dick stan, its purely about how abuse narratives are interacted with in any medium, as a whole.

Like, hopefully it makes a little more sense now why it might be downright maddening to see a fandom so frequently write fics tackling Bruce’s behavior.....while largely skipping around and outright avoiding or ignoring:

the initial instance of abuse that without which, and if not for there never having been any consequences resulting from it, Bruce’s actions in this direction would never have kept repeating enough to become a behavior.

Its about for every action there’s an equal an opposite reaction. By one instance of abuse not being deemed worthy of an opposing reaction to address it, attempt to correct it, push back against it and try and return things to where they’d been before an unapologized-for abusive scene skewed things heavily in another direction....

The groundwork is laid for more of the same to happen again, either with the same character, or literally any other.

Because the thing that goes hand in hand with this, without ever really getting acknowledged either, as it would require referencing that time Bruce abused Dick which tends to be counter to this line of thinking entirely: 

Instead of trying to ignore that this scene happened because it clashes with the idea that Dick is the favored son who can do no wrong in Bruce’s eyes.....IMO stans of Jason and the others might be better served by looking at this moment in the characters’ lives as “if we vehemently believe that Bruce favors Dick more than the others, and he can still do this to him, what does that say he’s capable of with the others?”

Hopefully I’m making a case for how after a long enough time has past where scenes like this one just exist and yet there’s not a sizable enough pushback or attempt to acknowledge, address or ‘fix’ it....it was literally inevitable that there would reach a point where shitty writers intent on just making a spectacle rather than because they care about the implications of what they’re writing....

Would eventually come up with something like RHATO #25.

How could they not? When the takeaway was that all this prior abusive stuff Bruce did never even got the kind of outcry, dramatic reception that writers like Lobdell live for.....what were writers like him ever going to do but double down? Up the stakes? Do worse?

Bottom line is you can’t keep a pattern from recurring so long as you refuse to acknowledge various of the points that make up the pattern. Especially the initial point, without which there very well might be no pattern.

And going back to that scene from NTT #55....

No, I don’t believe a simple apology was ever going to make it right. But as I said, its a start, and you have to start somewhere. If anyone ever truly wants to address Bruce’s worse tendencies with his children, IMO, you start here....where its still largely limited to a specific moment in time, and can be addressed as such. Forced out into the open and condemned before it can grow due to a lack of consequences. With Bruce expected to make amends. He can’t and shouldn’t expect Dick just to forgive him, but not even asking for forgiveness literally only lays out the inevitable conclusion that he doesn’t need to, in order to have things back the way they were. 

Whereas owning up to what he did and its effects on Dick, recognizing that Dick only had this initial security of feeling he’d never harm him because he’d once upon a time worked to give him that feeling of security in the first place......that could be a reminder to Bruce that he did it once, and if he wants to badly enough and works at it hard enough, he can do it again.

But again, that requires focus on what this did to Dick, and what he needs in order to make things better from that point on...as well as effort.

An action caused this. Nothing but action in the other direction can actually have any kind of effect equivalent to the one the abusive action had.

I firmly believe that focusing on this as the starting point of any ‘fix-it’ fics meant to address or even curb Bruce’s abusive behavior in canon, is to the benefit of fans of every Batkid.

Cut it off at the source. Before it ever even gets to the point of RHATO #25, or NW #30.

Because there reaches a point where it becomes too little, too late. Where acknowledging it only once it gets to instances of that magnitude is akin to trying to put a bandaid on a gaping hole going straight through the body.

There are some instances of abuse that are so extreme, so damaging, that....they shouldn’t be forgiven, IMO. Where when if you’re focusing on what’s best for the victim, rather than trying to make things better for the whole family overall, including the abuser, under the belief that the family truly needs and would be worse off without them...

Like, sometimes the best thing for an abuse victim is to just walk away, if that’s at all possible. Cut ties and start fresh elsewhere. Some things are too big to ever truly come back from, to make things so everyone truly feels comfortable and safe and secure in another’s presence.

So I mean, its never not going to be baffling, and a little frustrating, to see fix-it fics for Bruce’s abusive behavior or actions that only act like something like RHATO #25 is a call for an intervention.

Because the thing that never ever gets mentioned in those fics, even when they bring it up and toss it out there like a throwaway line, like its still not that big a deal...

Is if your premise acknowledges that this initial scene after Jason’s death still happened in your fic....that it was the starting point for a pattern of abusive behavior that unchecked grew until it reached the point of RHATO #25....

Then your own fic is acknowledging but not addressing the fact that Dick has been living as an unacknowledged abuse survivor this whole time, without anyone in the fic’s continuity ever having addressed or even attempted anything to repair that initial damage to his faith in Bruce’s desire to protect and shelter and never harm him.

And that has nothing to do with feelings about individual characters, but again....how we interact with abuse narratives as a whole.

Just, please. If you are not a survivor yourself, if you take nothing else away from this, just please remember, reflect upon, and internalize this:

There is a difference between abuse and assault for a reason.

And that reason boils down to the fact that unlike in instances of assault, with abuse?

A punch is never just a punch.

[heymusings]

​The Mummy and Mummy Returns need more appreciation in terms of sheer cinematic value.  It may not seem like a work of art compared to large budget films that have rocked box offices but I think of it as an example of perfect cinematic enjoyment.

Genre and Gender--- these movies are unique in the adventure and action genre.  First, I could probably count on one hand the number of films that feature a woman in a leading role within the genre-- let alone one that I enjoyed. Second, I love that Eve is arguably the lead character and she isn’t overtly sexy or constantly fighting off the bad guys while ridiculously clothed.  She is not given some incredibly ridiculous skill set.   In fact, most female leads that I can think of in this genre are presented in order to appeal to male audiences; meaning, many of the action/adventure films that feature female leads are actually films made to appeal to men over women (because why would I want to watch that genre...I am only allowed to watch chick flicks).  These women are often expert fighters but they do their fighting in a way that is constantly reminding audiences that they are women or their skill set is so high that it is unrealistic (and would be even if the character were male). 

Instead, The Mummy concentrates more on building realistic female characters that suite the genre and story being told (not appealing to the male gaze or even the female gaze).  

Rather than being a femme fatale, the female lead is an intelligent, witty, and bookish woman who literally knows more about Egyptology than any man there.  It is actually Evelyn's brains rather than brawn or weaponry that is more necessary to defeating the mummy.  It is her intelligence that is emphasized-- in an adventure film-- that isn’t often seen, especially for a woman. Funnily enough, Evelyn in the first film is rather awkward in many ways-- through the entire film.  She doesn’t have this miraculous transformation into a badass who can kill you with a single punch.

 Evelyn even wears more practical clothing and never once becomes scantily clad (for whatever reason).  It is her intelligence rather than her sexuality that pushes the story forward and attracts the male protagonist Rick to her. But damn if she isn’t physically attractive as well...it’s just not the most important thing.

It isn’t until the sequel where Evelyn, still arguably the focus of the film, becomes more physically able.  However, this transformation makes more sense seeing as it is several years after the first film and it is implied that she has been involved in several expeditions and learned some fighting skills from Rick.  Her skills remain on a realistic level and still, her gender is not a focus.  Even with her new skills, it is still her intelligence that is emphasized.

  All that really needs to be said: The story concentrates on a fun adventure science fiction rather than perpetuating gender stereotypes.

Characters-- 

I can actually see every character in this film as being real.  These are not characters who are not impossibly skilled in seemingly all things nor are they what I would call “Hollywood perfect” by falling neatly into one stereotypical role and having their looks be a major factor in their portrayal.  These characters/people even look realistic-- a fact that I find makes them much more attractive.  They all have there own individual skills but they do screw up far more often than other action heroes do, yet they are able to realistically get out of the dangers they find themselves in.

Rick is far from the typical heroic character-- he spends a great deal fo the film screaming.  He is quippy, which is typical of heroes within the genre, but the true difference is that I find him actually likable and his quips don’t come off as...arrogant or sexist, which is also typical within the genre.  He is skilled in combat but not in seemingly every form of combat, and the combat he is skilled in isn’t often useful to him in the situations he ends up in, forcing him to get creative (also showing he is smart and resourceful).  

Johnathan is bumbling and often clumsy (similar to Evie) which often leads him to be under estimated, but he is actually highly intelligent, which you see signs of throughout the films, he just simply doesn’t have much interest in intellectual pursuits to flex how smart he can be.  He can even be a quick thinker when necessary.  But where Evie is fairly ruled by intellectual pursuits Johnathan is not, in fact, he is mostly lazy...he’s just looking for his opportunity to get rich and live it up; treasure hunting seems to be the best way to accomplish that for him.

What I love even more is that he actually doesn’t let his interest in riches interfere with his relationships. You don’t see a lot of characters who have an interest in gold come out on top or be particularly good people, especially in this genre of film.

Comedy--- 

I find it continuously difficult to enjoy comedy, even in comedy films.  Comedy becomes dangerous in other film genres if not used appropriately.  I can honestly say the Mummy brand of humor is top notch and arguably the best in film.  It is perfectly suited for the adventure film and works with the characters rather than seeming out of place or out of character, and it certainly doesn’t take the humor too far (which is often the main issue I have with humor in most movies).  The best humor comes from how the very different and very real character interacts with each other and react to the events taking place-- their reactions are often used to create humor, but to also emphasize their characters and the situation and it is not over the top reactive or obvious (like LOOK AT ME I AM BEING FUNNY).  What I mean is, the humor is purposeful and used sparingly where it makes sense; it’s not there just for a laugh and that makes it all the more humorous.  

Supporting Characters

Unless they are villainous characters, which are fairly cut and dry, want to take over the world it might be a little more difficult to pick out supporting characters. The vast majority of the characters in the films are purposeful and well developed to the point of arguably being equally important and not pushed to the side near as often as is often the case of such characters.  Ardeth and Jonathan come to mind-- they are obviously not the main characters but without them, the story would turn out very different.  Because they are also given nearly equal if not completely equal screen time 

Romance--

Romance is constantly a sub-genre in adventure film...one which I both love and hate.  As a woman, I admit I like a little romance filtered in.  What I absolutely despise in how it is almost ALWAYS depicted as...well, underdeveloped and focused almost solely on the idea that “hey, you look good, I look good, let’s do it and at some point, you’ll the damsel and I’ll be manly and brave enough to save you.”  These films have REAL romance.  Sure, Rick and Evie are physically attracted to each other, but there is zero sex and their attraction is emphasized more by their intellectual connection and genuine appreciation for each other than their physical attraction.  Even better, the get to know each other in traditional ways-- talking, arguing, awkward and adorable shows of affection, and gifts that clearly represent an understanding of the person being gifted (such as Rick giving Evie a set of archeology tools).

[mandalorian-bitch]

Behind the scenes

The Mandalorian Modern AU.

Pairing: The Mandalorian x fem!reader

Summary: You are a photographer and a cosplay convention worker. Nothing really interesting happens at these events, but this one... this one brings different feelings when you met that man wearing a glowing helmet.

Warnings: none.

A/N: Well, it is my very first time writing some mandalorian stuff. I'm sorry if it's a little too long and boring, I promise it will get better with time. I actually saw a mandalorian cosplayer at a convention I've worked last year so somethings here may be real. Since English isn't my mother language you may found some grammar errors while reading and if you do, please, let me know so I can fix it :). Hope you enjoy this!

----------------------

You always liked cosplay, it was never a secret. In the beginning your parents thought it was just a hobby, then they told you it was madness and a total loss of time spending months organizing an event and then more hours strolling with a camera in your hand. But then they understood that it makes you happy, in your way of being happy.

It is almost a relief, both for you and for anyone who participates of these events, being who you really are. The vast majority awaits a whole year for the convention, it's like one of the few places where you can act according to your strange taste for space wars or romance about vampires. Or more recent, the k-pop fans. Once a year, you are not the weird nerd who sits alone at lunch break. Everyone there is in the same boat to suffer bullying from elementary school to college, even at work, but there we all are the same.

Cosplayers carry a little bit of each character with them, and they seem to do the magic of movie superheroes as they enter a dark alley like civilians and get out of there in extravagant fantasies. Their look changes, so as their physiognomy, all insecurities, low self-esteem, anxiety and the many social issues that plague most of us simply stays outside the event. People stop them while walking around the event, asking for pictures in character poses, and most of the time it's you who takes the pictures. In addition, you help them to wear the clothes and everything, like a staff. It does not pay much, but it already helps until something better comes up. You graduated at Design school about two years ago and has been a difficult time for professionals in this area, now that anyone downloads Photoshop and some more templates ready for small companies and many of them prefer to pay less for it. Still, you have good friends and they always designate you for some freelance that pays enough to insure yourself for a month or two, until something new appears. Being a photographer helps too, since being at an event full of people wanting good photos already yields a few hundred in your Paypal account. Most cosplayers look quite eccentric, in fact, and barely speak. When they speak, they do not leave the character in a scary, but funny way at the same time. Leaving insecurities without becoming one asshole is very difficult in these cases, but some are nice people. Like a guy who always brings his girlfriend to the event and every year they wear a different cosplay couple. This year, he was Han Solo and she was Princess Leia.

“Hey, (y/n)! Can you take a picture of us?” the boy approached, smiling, holding his girlfriend's hand.

“Sure!” You adjusted the focus of the camera the moment an armoured guy passed behind them.

You have seen that model of armour, of course. There is no way to forget Boba Fett's armour. You didn't know much about the culture involved, but remembered that there was some race or creed and thought it was cool. You could imagine the work he must have done to assemble each piece of this armour. It was silver, with very good details, as if he really was using steel and had been fighting against a dragon or something like.

Anyway, it caught your attention.

The couple moved closer to look at the photo and a second of you looking at the camera, still a little fascinated by the figure, was enough to lose the sight of him when you looked behind them again. Curious. You showed the photo to them while still looking around, looking for the armoured man who walked so calmly a few seconds ago.

“Thank you!” The girl smiled, looking at the photo. When she noticed the figure glossy in the background, her eyes sparkled. “Woow! Is this a Boba Fett or what?!”

“I thought the same thing! But I don't think it's exactly Boba.” You smiled, putting a lock of hair behind your ear. “If you guys find him, say that I want to take some pictures, something for… the event.” They waved and kept walking.

When you thought you saw the helmet strolling through the crowd again, Greef Karga, your supervisor touches your shoulder and makes your attention turn to him.

“(Y/n), I need you to help with some troubles in the dressing room, silly thing but they need someone with experience in dealing with those dickheads” He sighed. Greef, a black guy over fifty years. He also wore a dark blue shirt with the logo of the event as you did and had a moustache. He was like a second father to you, and always supported the event and even got you some freelances.

“Alright.”

The problem in the dressing room was between two women, one using a blonde wing and the other, using a long, red wing. The ‘blonde’ one swore that the redhead had stolen her blue eyeliner and the redhead, in addition to denying it, swore even in her mother’s name that the blonde one had stolen her Lancôme foundation. Nothing that had never happened before, but it was certainly something that should not spread out through the corridors.

“This red bitch steals my eyeliner! This is absurd, is there no security in this place? Cameras?” said the blonde, her wig gave an extra head on her size. Her makeup half-finished and still wearing only the pants of what would be her cosplay.

“Not here, because you change clothes in here.” You started, in a calm voice. Saying ‘please, calm down’ isn’t the better thing to say to someone who’s clearly not at the mood to calm down. The best thing is to transmit this through your voice and the way you look. “Have you looked calmly in the bags? Maybe near the mirrors?”

“I already showed all my things to this bitch and she keeps accusing me!” The redhead spoke between her teeth, her blue eyes burning in anger. She was wearing a 20 centimeters high heels and a white dress that make her look like a Greek goddess.

You started looking around, but to no avail, while they keep yelling to each other. It was better to find at least one of the things before they started to fight with the wooden swords they brought, if so things were going to get really worse. The anime songs playing in the background didn't help much and more and more cosplayers approached to ask what was going on.

There was nothing more hateful than kneeling on that floor, full of fantasy remains, hair - some wigs, others were real hair - feathers and scattered glitter. But still you got on your knees and started looking as fast as you could, touching under the various suitcases left on the floor and asking for permission where you were crawling. Until you look under one of the dressing room mirrors, the ones with the lights around, and see a clear bottle. The damn foundation must have fallen and the redhead, so worried about something else, didn't notice. The bottom of the bottle had “Kayla” written with red nail polish.

“Who's Kayla?” You asked.

The redhead looked down and her face fell into an expression that seemed a mixture of shame and joy at finding the base.

“See it? I said I didn't stole anything!” The blonde said, sighing and looking to you “How cool, she got the damn foundation back. But where's my eyeliner?!”

“Is that an eyeliner?” a modulated voice echoed behind you.

Slowly, you stood up and looked back to face the armoured man. He was pointing to the blonde, but not actually to her. It was something at her. You were very impressed with the voice, the helmet must have some technology stuff that could make his voice sound this way and it's amazing. Not every cosplayer pay attention to this detail when wearing a character that wears a helmet. It looks like there’s no difference, but it actually does.

Here are you again wondering about the “silver Boba Fett” (that’s how you decided to call him in your mind until remember what character he’s wearing).

“Can I?” he asked and after receiving a nod from the blonde, he approached her carefully.

You, Kayla and two other cosplayers were watching the scene. Lightly, he removed something caught between her huge hairstyle, without ruining the whole thing.

“Here you got.” He gently said with a smooth chuckle in the end.

“T-thank you". It was almost a whisper. She received the eyeliner and looked down.

“You’re welcome.”

“Apparently it was with you all the time.” You said, shrugging your shoulders and making a ‘I told you to look calmly to things, girl’ face.

They were both embarrassed, but at least they had stopped accusing each other and cursing in every possible way.

“I think it's everything okay now, right?” You asked and they just waved, without looking at each other. “Well, good luck in the competition, girls!”

“Sorry for the uproar...” Kayla looked at your little badge, with an expression still a little embarrassed.“(Y/n), thanks for your time.”

You smiled in a corner as you looked for the armoured man. “and you-"

He was no longer there. You stared at the place where he should have been, and for a few seconds you looked around, but to no avail. It was funny to still look for him, even though he is just a stranger with a very good cosplay with whom you would like to exchange a couple of words, take some pictures, maybe have a coffee...

After leaving the room, a cosplayer dressed as Geralt of Rivia approached.

A guy of almost two meters, in full costume and holding the saddlebag with both swords, looked like a wall standing in front of him.

“Hi, uh... I wanted to register for the contest, can you help me with this, (y/n)? - His voice was deep, but it didn't seem to have anything to do with the character, as he sounded naturally strong and calm. After a while in this environment, you learn to differentiate.

“Ah, yes, I'll take you there!”

---

You stepped away from the crowded areas a bit and went close to the backstage, texting other co-workers to see if anyone needed any help somewhere. There always was, but no one answered in a while, so you got a sandwich in the cafeteria and leaned close to the staff room to eat where the crowd didn't seem to notice you. Behind a big event, a lot happens. A lot of things go wrong, but also every little thing that works, each small problem solved without causing curious eyes, was a big good thing to the convention. The work was simple, in general, and you didn't have much to worry about except the public's entertainment and mainly: Don't annoy cosplayers. They suck at observing and praising good things, but are quick to see any loose wire on the wall to complain about the risk of electric shock on social media. Of course not all of them were like this but still, there are always a dozen assholes to ruin your year-long job in a few minutes by typing 280 characters on Twitter.

But the armoured guy... He seemed to be oblivious to the two types mentioned. You didn't see him in the dressing room, when you had to go there, or at the event's photo studio. There was always a glimpse of the shiny helmet standing out from everyone, and you always gave a silly little smile when he waved that helmet to you. And it's very important to remember the helmet, because you haven't seen it without it all day. And you have been curious, curious to ask several silly questions.

Did he not eat all day? Worse, didn't he drink water?! You finished the sandwich with that feeling that you should see if he ate just to see if he would agree to go to the cafeteria with you later. But of course you got busy sometimes, so there’s no way to be a stalker.

“(Y/n)??? HEY!” Greef waved his arms in front of your face, as if he wanted to wake you up from something, but you weren't sleeping-

Oh.

“Oh, sorry, Greef. I got distracted” You hugged yourself awkwardly.

He shook his head in disapproval and opened the employees’ room door to show you something.

“Well, there are some boxes to carry to the warehouse, back there.” he pointed to the other side of the place. At least you wouldn't have to go through the crowd, you could go behind the stage and then through the sides.

An easy work, however, there is always something heavy to do. You agreed and saw the image of Greef Karga getting lost among the nerds he hated so much, precisely because he was one of them since the 1980s. You faced the three boxes, probably full of cables and other production's stuff and ran your hand through your hair to arrange it in a high bun, so it wouldn't disturb you.

You carried each box out of the room and stacked the three outside, closing the door. Okay, you can do it.

Can't you?

Carrying all three at once would save time and of course it was unreliable to take one at a time, leaving it alone and being stolen, who knows? You bend down to try to load them, but it was kind of obvious that it wouldn't work. You try again and even let out a few grunts, but it still doesn't work. The crowd in front of you remains like a cluster of ants that have something better to do and by the rules you should never accept help from anyone but your co-workers.

“Alright.” You sigh and take out your cell phone, texting your closest colleagues.

Nobody answered, nor even read. In half an hour you should be on stage as a good staff and help the cosplay competition.

"That sounds heavy," again, the modulated voice caught your attention.

The helmet's T-visor focused on your eyes, you could feel it.

“Yeah... I don't know if they do this to me because it's my first year at this convention, I had worked in many other but-" a sigh comes out of your lips and he analyses you carefully, with his hands at his sides. “You don't even have to hear that, I shouldn't complain about these things with a-“

You stop when you were going to say something wrong, at least for the situation.

“With a strange nerd wearing an armour and a toy gun around his waist?” His metallic voice sounded serious, but in such a serious way that it was funny.

You kind of laughed, looking around.

“It was just a joke, I guess” he added and then laughed too.

His laugh send a heat to your heart.

“I didn't want to-, I don't even know which character you are, you know... I'm sorry for that, but I really have to start carrying this.” You try to change the subject.

“Would you... would you like some help there, (y/n)?”

The way he says your name behind this half-robot, half-Iron Man effect, sent a shiver down your spine. I wasn't the first stranger to say your name, of course, you carry a damn name tag on your chest. And you would love to accept help, but you shouldn't accept it or someone could see it and then you would lose the next two days of the convention by being fired.

“I thank you, really, but if someone see-"

“No one will see, I can walk behind the stage.” he pointed to the dark part where only employees pass from time to time.

“I can't, really” You smiled in a corner and held the first box in your arms, when an idea came to your mind and you looked to him. “Actually, you can help me...”

He approached the boxes and you put a hand on the path, almost touching the breastplate of the armor. He looked at you, probably confused under the helmet.

“You stay here and watch the two boxes while I take this one. So you help me and no one notices.”

“Okay, I can do this.” His voice sounded amused and you could feel his grin behind the helmet.

“You stay, okay?” You straightened the box in your arms and started walking. “Keep your beautiful armor right where. Don't move"

He laughed and raised his arms as if surrendering. So you kept walking to the dark part of the stage, walking slowly. Halfway there, you thought that you being followed by someone, but it was just an employee passing by quickly without looking at you.

When you arrived at the warehouse door, you turned your back to push this and went in that way with the box still in your arms. Walking around the warehouse was a little difficult with the amount of boxes lying on the floor, especiallyin low light, so you took a look at the box label to find out on which shelf you should leave it. Leaving the box in place, you turned to go back and gave a surprise look when you saw the two other boxes at the door, with a handwritten note on top of these.

“It is a mandalorian armor :) - D.”

A silly little smile formed on your lips and you kept the note.

Of course the most sensible thing to do, having just a few minutes until the competition, was to organize the boxes. After doing this, the first thing that comes to mind is looking for the guy with the helmet in the place where you supposedly left.

But there was no sign of him.

---

After touring the rest of the event trying to find the mandalorian, you gave up. Maybe he got tired of walking around with the costume, or him got too hot to stand with this or he simply had something better to do.

You just sat next to the stage, in the last hope of seeing you going to the cosplay competition in the shiny armor he wore. Each person who walked to the stage caught your attention, but none looked like a mandalorian, and neither they wore a similar armor.

After all, why was it so important? Armor guys comes and goes, it's not the first crazy person who incorporates too much the character to mess with you feelings. It's just a helmet fetish or something like that. There was once a guy who was cosplaying Halo's Masterchief; also had the red Power Ranger, and a black one, and pink ranger too... One time or another you would find him, or find a Boba Fett, who knows? There is still two days of event to find out.

Still, it was funny to remember how he disappears in the crowd, like he didn't really wanted to be noticed. But why the hell he wouldn't want to be? Himself chose to wear armor and come to a cosplay event, and walk around with all that bounty hunter's way around the place pulling out the eyes and whispers from all the nerds girls - and some guys too. And even though perfect in what he set out to do, apparently he doesn't want to be seen. And well, he kind of helped you solve two problems on the same day.

“And to close with a golden key, we will receive with a round of applause the our Witcher, Geralt of Rivia!” the female voice that announced each cosplayer made the thoughts stop a little while you enjoyed the perfect cosplay that paraded on stage.

The colorful lights danced as the cosplayer walked and shook his swords, even put some sound effects behind to bring a little more magic at the moment. Everything in the place became magical, in fact, the very energy that cosplayers exuded behind the stage was full of adrenaline and a touch of anxiety. But still, it was a very good energy. They felt alive to be there, to show that they trained and decorated each step of the character and that they could show it in front of the almost four thousand strangers without fear.

And when you looked at the audience, there he was, standing still and calm as he was all day. You wondered why he didn't sign up for the parade, and why he would still be there if so. The figure shone on the stage lights, with his hands on the bottom of his belly, and looked around like a security camera. It was funny, until he stopped and seemed to be staring directly to you, but not in a totally scary way.

Okay, a bit scary.

The audience went crazy with the cosplayers' performances on stage, you caught yourself with a open mouth now and then. Everyone clapped by the end of the parade and dispersed for a few moments, until the time the result would be announced. This take about 5 minutes at most, so you had to be quick and organize the awards together with Greef and one more intern, Rose. She was always so kind and very friendly to you, so that was easy to get everything prepared in a few minutes and you get up to the stage and gave the woman who presented the competition, so you could run to your comfortable spot behind the stage.

“Well guys,” she started saying in the microphone, looking for the paper on her hands. “It seems like we have our very first two finalists of our cosplay competition today!”

Everyone in the crowd clapped and yelled in excitement, but for the thousand time when you searched for the mandalorian he just disappeared. Well, in the end, he's not the ‘to be found’ type, but the ‘to find you'. So you had an idea.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! :)

[dysphoric-affect]

Harnessing The Butterfly Effect And Omnipotence

I’ve recently been musing over the best and worst aspects of the main entries in the Elder Scrolls series, and as I was recently musing over the most popular quests from them I had a bit of an epiphany, specifically in regards to the “Whodunnit?” quest from Oblivion’s Dark Brotherhood quest-line. For those who aren’t familiar for whatever reason, the Dark Brotherhood is an assassin faction within that series, and this particular quest has you locked into a house with five other guests, gathered there under the pretense of a game they were invited to partake in: within the house is a chest of gold, with the first person to find it getting the spoils; the door will remain locked until there is a winner. The dark reality is the five other guests are all targets you are contracted to kill by the host, the game a pretext to have them lured into one spot and trapped so they’ll be easier to dispose of in one fell swoop.

Two things contribute to what make this quest so universally beloved. One is the emergent character development. When you come in, each of these characters has their own background and personality and preferences they operate from which are easy enough to learn given the smaller, more intimate setting and the lack of time limit to complete your objective. These give them definite opinions on all the other guests. As you start to kill them off one at a time, you will see your choice of who to kill influence those opinions for better or worse. Kill someone another character hates early on ? They feel some regret at having made assumptions about them and feel they didn’t deserve that. Don’t kill that same hated guest for a while? That hatred becomes suspicion they are the killer. Wait and then kill that same hated guest? The suspicious guest feels even worse than they would have if you killed them early, because they realize their bias clouded their judgment. Inversely, kill someone another guest loves and they will become suspicious of someone they didn’t dislike before. In contrast, keep killing everyone but the guest they are affectionate toward, and see that transform into fear as they logically become the obvious suspect in their eyes. All of this, critically, comes from the player’s choice. You have the time to learn who these characters are and deliberately choose the order you take them out in to play on these biases and crushes and fears and suspicions, granting a unique manner to be evil compared to elsewhere not just in that faction’s quests, but the entire game at large and in gaming in general.

The other critical aspect is that the quest is so open-ended in design. Rather than most quests that have a set chronology of steps that happen story-wise toward completion, you are only given an abstract final goal and are free to determine what the particular steps are toward achieving that, providing a toy box of different story elements, level design elements and gameplay capabilities which can be arranged however the player likes. There are 120 different possible orders the guests can be killed in, which alone is an incredible amount of choice, but once you account for the different events you can make happen by influencing them, places within the house you can kill them at and the actual way you execute them, it becomes impossible to calculate mathematically just how many different specific ways the quest as a whole plays out. That makes this quest rife for enthusiastic discussion among players, as it is practically impossible that any two players will have done the same thing, giving each their own story to tell.

The epiphany I had in relation to this quest is realizing that this quest isn’t primarily great because of the fun opportunities it provides for evil role playing within Oblivion, or Elder Scrolls more broadly, or in RPG’s and gaming in general more broadly still. The evil context within which those dynamics existed and how that was presented did make for tremendous fun that enhanced what made it great, but I think it is a mistake to see the core of that fun as something that can’t be divorced from the evil moral nature of the quest. Rather, those two dynamics of emergent character development driven by player choice on the one hand and player-determined methodology toward macro goal completion on the other hand are the true core to what makes this quest so popular.

This distinction is an important one to make, because without making it we may acknowledge that quest as a great moment in Oblivion, but we go no further. When we do make that distinction, though, then we can start to consider them independently of an evil context or an Elder Scrolls context and begin to see the potential of exploring and applying them in different ways in other games yet to be made.

The dynamic of emergent character development based on player-choice is a particularly important thing to consider toward the future of RPG’s in particular, although other games can also stand to benefit from incorporating such a system as well; Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War stand as especially salient examples of non-RPG’s that have begun exploring this kind of territory. For all the change players can affect in RPG’s up to this point, the influence they exert tends to be centered on macro-scale events and characters. Achieving the next level of sense of impact on the world by the player within these experiences, however, will be contingent on achieving the sense of ability to influence minor characters and events in the way the “Whodunnit?” quest does.

The trick to this isn’t a technical challenge I believe so much as a narrative one and a logistical one: that is, coming up with the sheer amount of content needed to apply this concept on a more global scale in the game world, keeping track of all of that on the part of developers to ensure the execution of all the specific parts are smoothly handled, and handling the presentation of this within the game such that players clearly understand how their actions have affected and are currently affecting characters, as well as having a sense of how their actions will affect things going forward depending on the choices they make. It may be practically speaking impossible for a player to keep track of all the specific instances where their choices have had or will have a butterfly effect, but ideally when approached this should be handled in such a way that most of the time it is easy enough to understand where the player’s actions played a role and in the rest of the cases that it can be figured out with a little effort on the player’s part, whether from memory and/or from in-game means, such as questions these affected NPC’s could be asked. The challenge this presents is monumental, but the closer to complete actualization of such a system a developer out there gets, the closer they’ll have come to making a living world within their game, a horizon larger games have long sought to reach.

The dynamic of player-determined methodology toward macro goal completion even more obviously has application to genres outside of RPG’s as well, though certainly application within it too. Often up till now the majority of freedom associated with quests in games has tended to be the timing on when the steps are performed. Giving more options on the nature of approach would greatly expand this sense of freedom. Part of this could and should come from existing in conjunction with a system of emergent character development and the opportunities that creates, but beyond that consideration should be given to give more options on types of approach, level design-based pathfinding, available tools to use in gameplay and so on - within reason for what is occurring in the story - to expand that freedom further still. Consideration should always be given as well to providing instances of all the above that are unique to given quests/objectives to enhance variety in general for its own sake as well as give that specific quest/objective its own unique flavor, but at the same time never overly pushing any particular method as the “right” way of approaching it. Even the subtle implication that there is a best or better way of doing things within an objective takes away from that true sense of full player self-actualization in their approach, so care should be taken to avoid that, at least if trying to provide true self-determination for the player.

As games - especially RPG’s - are getting ever more complex, there can be a tendency to get lost in concern for how big the world is, the number of quests and characters present and of course the graphics of the experience. It is fine to expand on those aspects, but getting lost on those at the expense of not considering these other avenues of adding depth and complexity to the experience seems to me to be not seeing the proverbial forest for the trees. It is a particularly unfortunate loss considering that these systems I’ve discussed, while undoubtedly able to make good use of advancing technology in games, are not dependent on that to be able to exist. They simply require creativity and hard work from developers who realize the vast potential that can come from their pursuit. I hope as we go forward more developers will tap into this relatively untapped well to provide us depth and immersion in our games we’ve never seen before, whether in Elder Scrolls or beyond.

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Thanks for taking the time to read my content! If you enjoyed it, please consider liking, commenting, following and especially reblogging so more people can be made aware of it, and of course consider checking out my past content. I really appreciate any support you want to give.

[mishraabram]

One of the leading reasons for employees not performing to the best of their abilities is the lack of feeling engaged. And this seemingly small thing is what you as an employer needs to get rid of. If you cannot get rid of it completely, you must at least try to reduce it to a large extent. Apart from performance, disengaged employees can also impact other employees or extreme cases, decide to leave the organization.

What is Employee Engagement?

Understanding Workplace Demographics

Top #12 Employee Engagement Trends for 2020

Should organizations feel that their employees are not highly engaged, the problem can be addressed by certain employee engagement practices. Following some of these will help you address the issue of employee engagement. And if done properly, it can boost the satisfaction of employees, reduce the attrition rate and improve employee retention, boost the productivity of employees, increase the loyalty in employees, etc.

What is Employee Engagement?

Employee engagement is the emotional connect that an employee has with their organization. Having an emotional connection means that they actually care for the organization, its goals, and its work. Proper employee engagement ensures that your employees do not just work for their paychecks, next hike, promotion, etc. They put in the effort because they understand the organization’s goals and work towards it.

While it is important to understand employee engagement, it is even more crucial to know what employee engagement isn’t. Employee engagement certainly isn’t the happiness of an employee. An employee could be happy but not work diligently towards an organization’s goals. To bridge this gap with your employees, you can partake in employee engagement activities. However, it is important to know employee engagement trends.

Being aware of employee engagement trends will help you better understand the issues and take precautionary steps. These employee engagement trends also ensure that you do not waste your energy on activities that no longer engage your employees.

Understanding Workplace Demographics

Before you can get down to identifying and resolving employee engagement related issues, knowing your company’s demographics is important as well. Going forward, it is expected that employees will stay longer at a workplace rather than constantly changing companies. There is a good possibility that you will have to handle employees from different generations at the same time.

Another factor that will become mainstream for the coming year is virtual workplaces and globalization. This will result in more flow of employees around. Adding to the mix is cultural diversity, which you will have to rethink completely to accommodate a wider set of values than they currently have. Collectively these make sure that the trends of previous years are no longer valid or need to be updated with time.

Top 13 Employee Engagement Trends for 2020

The employee engagement trends for 2020 seek to address upcoming technologies and how the workplace will get affected accordingly. Implementing a few of these will help you cope up with the changes while ensuring that your employees are well engaged.

1. Promote a healthy workplace for employees with wellness programs

There are a lot of things that are not in the right place when it comes to the wellness of employees in the workplace. Employees are usually exhausted due to stress at work or isolation from the social world. And it is no secret that employees who are worn out will always find themselves distant from engagement. Finding out a way to incorporate wellness at the workplace apart from the usual fitness classes and gym membership is an interesting challenge for employers.

An ideal way to handle this situation would be to take into consideration mental wellness, emotional wellness and if possible, even financial wellness, along with physical wellness. It is important to educate your employees about mental wellness and the support that they can get. A few employers are experimenting with sick leaves for mental well-being. Financial wellness is a concern that quite a few employees have. Apart from only providing with education, helping your employees in financially wise decisions can immensely help their engagement levels.

Know more: Role of HR in employee wellness

2. Provide opportunities for employees to grow and develop professionally

The presence of various resources these days makes it easy to help employees to learn and develop their skill set. Providing employees with the tool to help them be ready for future aids in employee engagement. Engaged employees usually have a strong affinity towards improving themselves and learning new things. Failing to offer them similar opportunities will lead to stagnation.

In fact, a survey done by LinkedIn shows that 44% of employees joined new employers for better personal advancement and development prospects. There are several on-demand learning portals or opportunities. Providing your employees with such exposure will help in employee engagement. Yes, there is a cost involved in the same. However, it is an investment that will pay off in terms of better reciprocation from your employees. Even more so when you consider that a company spends as much as 21% of an employees’ salary to find a replacement.

3. Letting Artificial Intelligence do the boring work

It is not mandatory for you as an organisation to embrace every bit of technology that is out there in the market. However, some of them can help you in the process of improving engagement among employees. On the mention of Artificial Intelligence, people usually think about losing jobs. That is not the case. As an organisation, you can incorporate AI to cover some of the most boring and redundant work. This will free up your employees to do more creative work and push their talent limits. Alternatively, they are less likely to get bored and demotivated, since they no longer have to do the boring stuff.

4. Appoint compassionate people as leaders for better health of your organization

Employees across the globe feel that the lack of good leadership in an organization is good enough reason for them to quit. Thus, hiring or promoting leaders who are compassionate and inspiring is one of the employee engagement trends for 2020. A leader who listens is authentic and leads by example has a much higher chance of imbibing your shift towards better engagement for employees.

Leaders or managers who show empathy towards their employees and have a sense of dignity when it comes to commitment are more likely to inspire employees. If your organization has such leaders, it is about time you recognize them and promote them with better responsibilities. Needless to say, the lack of such employees can have a negative impact as well.

You might like to read: EQ – The need of the hour for leaders

5. Better employee experience makes way for more engaged employees

User experience has garnered a lot of attention in recent years and for good reasons. Customers and clients no longer just want a product but also expect a good user experience. According to an article in Forbes, if the cost of fixing an issue is $1 during the design phase, it is $10 during development and $100 once it is released.

We can use a similar thought process for employees as well. Surveys show that about 60% of candidates have a poor experience with companies. As an organization, you would need to put in efforts to enhance employee experience for better engagement. This goes beyond the usual benefits or compensation that you offer to your employees. Listening to your employees frequently via surveys will help you address this. You can get an insight into what the employees like and what they would like to see in the organization.

6. Understanding millennial’s holds key to long association with an organization

Millennials will constitute a vast majority of the workforce in the coming decade. It is only natural that you understand this demographic to make the most of it. A few years ago, companies felt the addition of games in office premises, monthly lunches, etc. were enough to keep millennials engaged. However, that’s not the case. While such instances are helpful, as an employer you should be able to offer them something more meaningful to keep them engaged for the long-term.

You might want to read: Hiring millenials in India

One of the factors that instantly attracts millennials towards organizations is flexibility. Whether it is working duration, office timings, working remotely, etc. These things provide them with a sense of belonging and it can fuel engagement as well. Another crucial factor that can help you get the attention of millennials is a good working culture. A culture that practices open-door policies for management, opportunities to collaborate with other teams is more likely to keep a millennial happy and engaged.

Read more about: Why are millenials important and how to motivate them?

7. Frequent feedback aid in enhanced policies

A common mistake that most companies commit is to wait for the year-end appraisal meetings to give feedback. This feedback can be counterproductive. It gives employees a feeling that the feedback was only for year-end appraisal and might not even have an impact. Giving someone feedback merely takes a few minutes and if done during the year can be more effective.

The lack of a proper feedback channel or regular feedback can bring in a lot of discord and disconnect that the employees feel. Giving them feedback at the end of the year and associating it with monetary benefits leaves them feeling confused. Timely feedback will help your employees work on shortcomings and gaps. This also brings in a sense of belonging and keep them engaged with their profiles. This is one of the leading employee engagement trends for 2020. It will not happen overnight or over one or two instances. But you need to initiate it and ensure that it is followed consistently.

8. Use technology as a tool to improve engagement in employees

Knowingly or unknowingly we are surrounded by technology. The moment we set out of the home, till returning to bed we engage with technology at so many levels. As an organization, you can leverage technology for your benefit. Companies are now embracing the idea of online recognition tools for their employees. This seemingly simple idea helps employees appreciate each other and in turn, increases their engagement in the organization.

This allows employees to share their accomplishments, achievements and create a bond with other employees as well. The usage of good messaging apps also improves communication among employees. These apps allow employees to engage with each other and work collaboratively, irrespective of their location. When you assess engagement barriers in your organization, there are chances that it might be resolved with technology.

9. Improve employee’s productivity by striking a balance between work and life

Work-life balance has been on employee engagement trend for quite some time but never gets old. And there are strong reasons for the same. Offering employees, the flexibility to work at their convenience, at times even without coming to the office can boost the engagement levels to a great extent. Sticking to strict office timings might not be the most effective mode of working for several employees as well.

It is essential that as an organization you incorporate flexibility as and where possible so that employees are not burned out. Estimates show that burned out employee cost $125 billion to $190 billion a year in healthcare expenses. Once employees get a better sense of work-life balance they are more likely to be engaged and be more productive.

Good read: How to improve work life balance in your company?

10. Incorporate analytics for enhanced predictions and getting rid of bottlenecks

In a bid to make something for customers, employees use a lot of tools and thereby generate a lot of data. A rising employee engagement trend is to make use of the data generated by employees. Companies are coming up with tools to help HR understand certain fundamental issues and even help them resolve the same. The data at hand along with a good analytics tool can help you identify bottlenecks when it comes to employee engagement.

Whether it is instant polls, tools for collaboration, specialized data can help you analyze different aspects and work on them to improve employee engagement. You can even predict the future behaviour of employees using these tools. There are bound to be some noises with a huge amount of data at hand. The major challenge in all this is fine tuning the findings and to identify the actual issues.

11. Innovation via upcoming technologies

Companies are embracing newer technologies for more integrated products and experiences for their customers. One prime example is IoT or Internet of Things. The simple concept connects everyday objects with each other and lets them identify similar other objects as well. IoT is being used at various levels including, GPS or RFID for tracking and monitoring shipments, assets or even properties. Ability to rent vehicles remotely without any human intervention is another such example.

12. Incorporate a culture of recognition and rewards

This is one of the simpler and more common employee engagement trends for the coming year. Employee recognition acknowledges the efforts that employees put in openly, to inculcate a growth culture. If you do not already have a recognition and rewards system, it is about time that you start with one. And for companies that already have a system in place, it might be worthwhile revisiting them.

Recognizing and rewarding your employees is one of the most powerful ways of ensuring employee engagement. There are enough surveys and statistics to prove that employees that are recognized, are more likely to feel highly engaged. Organizations across the globe have seen better productivity, boosted morale, and a lower turnover of employees. However, the recognition program must be consistent and visible to others. While recognition and rewards are two different concepts altogether, clubbing them together can multiply the benefits. There are few reports which suggest that employees who receive rewards such as monetary benefits or redeemable points are more engaged than employees who receive bonus yearly once. In fact, the engagement level is pegged at a staggering 8 times.

Do read: Employee rewards and recognition

13. Inculcating a culture of diversity for a growth environment

Another important employee engagement trend comes in the form of diversity in the workplace. Companies that have diverse teams as well as inclusive teams, will find their employees to be more engaged. Diversity in this case predominantly refers to employees from different backgrounds. And inclusion refers to better employee experience at the workplace along with the environment that they have access to.

You can start by introducing bias-free practices in hiring of employees. Other practices include better parental leaves, equal pay among employees and even exposing employees to un-bias training sessions. It is important to inculcate these into the culture of your organization. Employees get a sense of equality, belonging, psychologically safe and most importantly engaged. Once your employees feel comfortable in the culture and environment that you have created, they can expressive, innovative and happier.

Must read: How to build an everlasting company culture?

In conclusion…

To sum it up, engaged employees are more likely to work towards the organizational goals than mere pay checks. Engaged employees are known to be more productive and increase the profitability of an organization. In fact, some reports even suggest that the chances of engaged employees not turning up for work. Engagement brings in a sense of belonging towards the company along with better employee loyalty also.

There are several surveys and tools which can help you identify the level of employee engagement in your organization. Once you identify that the next obvious step is to look for solutions. To fix any issues related to engagement is a bit more difficult than usual business-related problems. However, they can still be solved. You can take the help of the above employee engagement trends and implement techniques that work for your organization. With a bit of perseverance, initial costs and consistency, you will be able to increase the engagement among employees. And once you do, you can reap the benefits of all the efforts that you had to put in the first place.

[starsaboveyouadoption]

by way of introduction

If you’re reading this blog, the chances are you are somebody from the UK who is either currently going through the adoption process, or already an adoptive parent yourself. Or perhaps you’re an adoptee, a foster carer, a social worker, a birth parent, a fellow adoption blogger…or maybe simply someone curious about the world of adoption. And I guess that’s a good point to start from, adoption certainly is its own “world”. Sometimes those of us within this world, or bubble, feel like we are staring outwards into the supposed normalcy of the world from a neighbouring planet, and that those “back home” are similarly peering back but can’t quite get a view, blocked by our fogged atmosphere. Sometimes even those of us on this planet feel lost amongst “our kind”, not knowing which way to turn to find help, the rest of our own population so distant from us that we can’t even reach out internally. And this is where I’m going to stop trying to make metaphors about planets and the solar system as I can see as I’m typing this, this isn’t really going anywhere!

But suffice to say…good information on the adoption process, and the world it is attached to is hard to find, and particularly hard to find if you are interested in the UK adoption scene in comparison to quite a saturated social media and internet presence about the US scene, which even in itself, is primarily dominated by stories of private and/or international adoptions. Like others, I’ve been able to find very little about UK adoption in general or US adoptions specifically from state foster care. This is something we will return to in much more detail in a future blog, but suffice to say that the vast majority of UK adoptions are domestic adoptions from the foster care system, and differ greatly from the majority of content about US style adoption, which can often be problematic and confusing. This is so not least for those of us adoptive parents who find ourselves met with stereotypes about adoption derived from a very 2D model of adoption proliferated by a collage of what people have gleaned from the internet, Hollywood films, and US YouTube vloggers (and by the way there is no blame attached to this, this is just the way things have come to be and I would probably have reached the same conclusions had adoption not touched my own life), but also for those who are just starting out, and trying to understand the journey in the UK on which they are about to embark. Or perhaps for those friends and relatives of adopters who want to better understand the process. It all gets quite muddled. This is something that a fantastic UK vlogger, Aimee Vlog has picked up on so well, and Aimee has done an amazing job of helping to fill that gap. I would highly recommend Aimee’s content for those of you wanting to get to know about UK adoption in an accessible, knowledgeable and engaging way. I thought about vlogging on YouTube but apart from what my hair has looked like since adopting(!), I know my strength better lies in writing (and that way I can sit comfortably behind a screen looking a complete mess!)

Even if you do find yourself in the adoption world, it can all be a little…vague. When I started out on my adoption journey, yes there were books for recommended reading, and some of which I have really held on to that genuinely offer very specific, nuanced advice – but if I’m honest? A lot of it was very generic, surface level stuff. Adoption content for newbies often falls into one of two camps – very basic information about the process which is very mechanical and clinical, and doesn’t really answer any complex questions, offers very surface level information that to be honest people could have got just by Googling – and most importantly doesn’t offer the human, road-travelled insight that real-life adopters can provide. Or, there are books you can read by very well experienced adopters, and whilst these have been a God-send for many moments throughout my journey, they can tend to be a genre that clusters around an extreme end of the spectrum where people have had a very hard time, and adopted children with very significant additional needs with very little support, which whilst of course, are extremely valid, sad, and important stories to tell, don’t represent the majority of adopters’ experiences, and can end up worrying people off the idea before they even begin. And for a bonus point, if I’m being really picky, my experience of the world of adoption forums has resulted in a little of the Mumsnet-curse. Either glowing reports of angelic children who supposedly settled into family life perfectly, loved their adoptive parents instantaneously, and are a joy from morning til night – or slightly holier-than-thou scoldings from adoptive parents who perhaps perpetuate a little of a martyr complex in the adoption community. That said, believe me, it is not all doom and gloom. There are some amazing, warm hearted, courageous, inspiring adopters out there in the world that I have learned so much from, and there is some really good content out there if you know where to look for it. I’d also not entirely dismiss the US platforms as I’ve found some great, down-to-earth adoption bloggers, who keep it real and are able to bridge the cultural gap. One such person is Angela Braniff at the Gathered Nest who would be my number one choice for anyone wanting an in depth look at the adoption world.

However, I do feel there is some room out there for more of us bloggers who can offer a real-life and down to earth perspective of adoption. With this blog, I’d like to lift a lid on the adoption world, in the hope of encouraging those considering it, or helping family/friends of adopters/ees to understand it, show some of the behind-the-scenes aspects which don’t get talked about in more generic texts, and provide some room for discussion and perhaps some Q&A depending on how this blog goes. I will certainly not claim to be a perfect parent, nor will I claim to be a particularly experienced parent at the time of writing. But I would like to be able to offer my experiences, thoughts, musings, for what they are worth, with the hope they help somebody like me when I started this journey a few years ago, dispel a few myths along the way, and provide a little more detail and food for thought.

So, a little about me…I’ll start with saying that due to the nature of adoption in the UK, it would be inappropriate for me to share too much personal information about my story. If someone who knows me in real life is generous enough to indulge me in following my blog, I trust them implicitly to honour and respect my child’s story and not identify them through their interactions with it. They know more detail about my journey and luckily I am blessed with hugely supportive friends and family who “get it” – which is not always the case! If you are somebody else reading this, I am an adoptive Mum of one child of pre-school age who I adopted as an older baby through the support of a local social services agency. I have a long-term partner who I have known for about 15 years now, and we started our official journey to adoption about 2 years ago, although I would say the story started about 7 years ago. To help place my story a little (and don’t worry I’ll share a little more that I’m able to as the blog goes on), our adoption was a domestic, but long-distance adoption, and we came to adoption as our first choice following infertility. We have not tried after receiving this diagnosis, to conceive a biological child despite the odds, and didn’t feel the IVF or surrogacy routes were right for us (more on that another time).

It may help as we start this journey to say a little about what I will and won’t be able to include. For reasons which I will definitely write about in more detail in a future blog post (I currently have about 4 pages of ideas for blog entries, so we’ll get to the deeper dive stuff I promise!), I’m choosing not to share identifying information about my child. Throughout the blog, I’ll refer to my child as Little Star. I’m afraid I won’t be sharing photos, or any specifics of the agency we adopted through, my child’s back story, specific individuals involved in their care, or any identifying information about where they lived etc etc…you get the picture. I already have a blog post in mind about this, but something that is sometimes hard for people to understand is why adoptive parents can’t share details of their background. I suppose there is a little morbid curiosity about these things. My partner and I are of the belief (which is commonly held by adoption agencies) that adopted children benefit from ownership of their story, and autonomy over who and how they choose to share it with as they grow old enough to understand it for themselves. Suffice to say that any child adopted from social services (the vast majority of UK adoptions) will have been categorised under one or multiple categories of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse and/or neglect, and the situation will have had to have got to the point where the child is deemed as at immediate risk of harm should they continue to be parented by their birth parents. Many adopted children, even those with relatively “stable” experiences in foster care, will grow up with feelings of shame about where they come from, struggle with low self-esteem rooted in feelings of otherness and believing themselves to be unwanted, and be on their own quest to fill what can be huge gaps in their knowledge of their own story. So, it is to be understood, I feel, that their life story sits best with them, their parents, and close family. If you can imagine that even by the time you are a young adult, there will still be people who may know more about aspects of your life and how you came into the world than you do, it’s not so hard to see why adoptive parents need to be protective over these details.

That said, what I can share is my general experiences with adoption, down to quite specific information about the process, what you can expect, my thoughts about common issues and dilemmas that arise with adoption, and a deeper, real-life insight into some of the things that opening a generic book about adoption won’t tell you. I hope to be able to shed some light on how it might feel to:

-        Grow to love your child and they to love you?

-        Have to ask permission to go on a family holiday?

-        Prove yourself to be a fit prospective parent again and again?

-        Examine your own childhood (and any associated traumas) forensically to understand how it has affected your own parenting ability and style?

-        Experience heartache and loss of an adopted child through a broken match?

-        Develop and draw upon reserves of resilience you never knew you had to fight for your right to start a family?

-        Make significant changes in your lifestyle to accommodate a child you’ve never met yet?

-        Parent a child who may look, act, think and learn entirely different to the “normal” in your family?

-        Experience “choosing” or “being chosen for” your child, or as some may feel their child “choosing them”?

-        Parent a child who has experienced grief, loss, separation, and trauma?

-        Not know your child’s medical risk or heritage?

-        Know that your child may one day choose to reconnect with the first parents they knew?

-        Have the confidence (or need!) to go against the grain of conventional parenting wisdom to parent a child for whom those strategies may be entirely inappropriate or out of step with their developmental age?

-        …Have your cat or dog assessed for your suitability to adopt? (Yes really!)

All this and more to come I hope, if you have the patience to read through my ramblings! I’d love for you to join me on what I hope will be a new journey, my passing forward all the generously given advice, support, insight and help that I was afforded by the UK adoption community and support networks when I was going through the process.

A final note – if this blog goes well, I’d love to be able to answer some questions that may be on people’s mind about adoption. I do understand, for what it’s worth, that adoption is a subject that people can feel a little bit intimidated by. It’s easy to feel you ae “saying the wrong thing” or putting your foot in it, and that thinking can stop otherwise curious people from stepping forward and asking what they need to know. So please know that this blog is not intended to crucify anyone with a genuine interest, who may sometimes stumble on the “right” wording or terminology, and I am always happy to take Q&A from people who may wish to do so anonymously. There’s a world of difference between a badly phrased but innocent question and an invasive, and offensive sweeping statement, and I’ve learnt not to be too defensive and decipher between the two…so, if you want to ask, please do. If I can’t answer your question, I’ll let you know, but if I can, I will. You can private message me on my personal Instagram if we are friends, or via Tumblr.

Until next time…

[love-sapphirerose]

Naruto: 30 Storylines Boruto Wants Everyone To Forget

https://www.thegamer.com/naruto-storylines-boruto-wants-everyone-forget/

With the reboot of everyone's favorite anime, Naruto fans are noticing inconsistencies. Here are 30 storylines that the creators want fans to ignore.

In the modern day-and-age, there is one word that will elicit a rather polarizing reaction from people. Either they will give you a quizzical look as they slowly move away from what they perceive to be an absolute maniac, or else they'll jump up in joy as they recount some of their most beloved anime and manga. Yep, you guessed right — the word we're talking about is none other than shōnen. It's a word around which so many things have been built that trying to talk about all of them is close to impossible. Thankfully, we're not here to talk about all of these anime and manga — rather, our aim is to talk about only one piece of shōnen entertainment that took over the world by storm. If the first word that came to your mind was Naruto, then you're absolutely right in guessing that (although we're assuming that the title was a dead giveaway).

The fact of the matter is that Naruto has certainly become one of the most popular anime and manga series of all time. Kishimoto has created a world that is so incredibly fleshed out that most people are already familiar with the ins-and-outs of this place. The show was so beloved that a sequel series by the name of Boruto: Naruto Next Generations actually came into play so that rabid fans would be provided with even more material centering around the land of the Shinobi.

However, not all is well with the series — fans are less than enthused about some of the elements of Boruto, namely because of certain things that have already been presented or established in the Naruto universe. Here are 30 such storylines in Naruto that the creators of Boruto wish everyone would just forget.

30. Naruto's Vast Chakra.

Everyone who's seen Naruto can vouch for one universal truth that has been spouted out time and time again — Naruto's chakra reserves are incredibly vast. His penchant to form thousands of shadow clones and fight for hours without being exhausted is proof enough of this.

However, if you've seen Boruto, then this quality doesn't really get reflected.

At the Hokage level, you might assume that Naruto is one of the most adept chakra users of his generation. However, he's failed at the most basic tasks multiple times and tends to get exhausted after the slightest bit of effort.

29. The Very Concept Of Chakra Itself.

To say that only Naruto's chakra system has been nerfed in Boruto would be a gross understatement — in fact, pretty much everyone in the series has been nerfed quite heavily.

The entire concept of chakra has been turned upside down.

What used to be a system that governed every form and type of jutsu — with the sole exception of taijutsu — has turned into nothing more than a glorified excuse to showcase cool blue auras... that don't even stay in control!

Get your act together, Boruto.

28. It Was Stated That Only Three Dōjutsu Exist In The World.

During the events of Naruto, it had been stated time and time again that the forms of dōjutsu present in the world were only of three types — the Byakugan, the Sharingan, and the Rinnegan.

However, fast forward to Boruto, and this wasn't even remotely the case.

Now, there's the Tenseigan, the Jōgan, and the Ketsuryūgan (just what is this last one) to take into account as well! To assume that the historians of the Naruto universe were inept is a poor excuse that Kishimoto is hiding behind.

At the end of the day, these extra dōjutsu are just a lazy way to augment someone's power level.

27. Sasuke Performing Horrible Crimes And Acts That Are Promptly Forgotten.

Sasuke is one of the most beloved characters in the series, don't get me wrong on that. It's obvious that he's one of the reasons why people even watched the series, to begin with... but that doesn't excuse the whole host of crimes he's committed.

Just to put it into context, Sasuke started his very own mini-Akatsuki, attacked the Kages, ended the life of a Hokage, caused numerous avoidable demises... and was almost going to destroy the whole world, had it not been for Naruto!

Jeez... that is quite inexcusable, isn't it?

26. Orochimaru's Malevolent Actions Are Ignored.

Speaking of past crimes, it's time to talk about another fan favorite character that played a major role throughout the series — yep, we're talking about the one and only, Orochimaru. In Boruto, this villain is allowed to run Otogakure, his very own village!

What has he done that mandates such a stupefied reaction? Well, for starters, he experimented — and ended the lives of — countless children, laid waste to a Hokage (he and Sasuke can share that honor), caused endless destruction, and did a myriad of other actions that are definitely on the evil side.

25. Kabuto Performing Countless Transgressions But Being Allowed To Run An Orphanage Anyway.

Of course, we can't talk about Orochimaru without mentioning his loyal sidekick, Kabuto. The fact of the matter is that this character also got a free pass along with Orochimaru and Sasuke, even though his actions could've ended the entire shinobi world.

There are several reasons why this character didn't deserve a clean slate, but we're going to pick out the most egregious one of the lot — his Reanimation Jutsu is the entire reason why Obito managed to amass an army, in the first place!

If that isn't enough of a reason, I don't know what is.

24. The Entire Mythos Of The Ōtsutsuki Clan Being Virtually Untouchable.

I think I'm definitely not exaggerating when I say that the Ōtsutsuki clan is basically the family that helped usher in the age of the Shinobi — and trust me, that's definitely not an exaggeration. The mythos that was built around this family should prove beyond a shadow of a doubt as to just how powerful the Ōtsutsuki actually were.

However, by the time Boruto ruled out, this aura that the Ōtsutsuki sported has completely disappeared. Kaguya was a pushover near the end of the series, and the duo of Momoshiki and Kinshiki was extremely disappointing as well.

23. Naruto Having Family Issues.

To simply state out of the blue that Naruto didn't exactly have a great childhood is a gross understatement — the lack of a father or mother figure, coupled with his status of being the Nine-Tails Jinchūriki, led to him being ostracized from society during his formative years.

So, why is it that he's ignoring his own family now that he's Hokage? From not even bothering to eat his wife's food to sending a Shadow Clone on his daughter's birthday — there's no excuse to be made, especially by someone who understands the pain of being alone.

22. Sasuke Having A Horrible Childhood But Still Ignoring Sarada Anyway.

When it comes to bad parenting, it seems that best friends really are alike, aren't they? Just like Naruto has never been around for his son, it seems that Sasuke has also prioritized everything over the task of being a father and supportive pillar for his daughter.

I mean, just imagine — unlike Naruto, Sasuke has experienced the pain of loss. Coupling that with a sense of crippling loneliness should've ideally compelled him to prioritize his daughter above anything else... but alas, it seems that logic is not a mandatory thing for people to have in Boruto.

21. The Focus Of The Entire Series On Valuing Bonds.

The bond that Naruto yearned for with his parents is not the only thing that needs to be discussed here — a major crux of the original series was the fact that everyone had bonds that they treasured, to the point where they were willing to give up their own life for the people closest to them.

However, with the advent of Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, it seems that the entire series is missing this crucial element. The titular character himself is a great example — Boruto has formed a ton of bonds throughout the series, but he's never treasured them like any of the characters in the previous generation.

What a sad turn of events.

20. The Very Existence Of Previous Minor Characters.

Speaking of other characters, I have only one question to ask — what is their purpose in Boruto? While I understand that the whole point of this sequel is to focus on the new generation of Shinobi, this basically means that a colorful cast of characters who were already sidelined in the last arc of the previous series won't be given any attention... again.

This is such a massive disservice, especially to great characters like Rock Lee, Gaara, Sakura (hey, don't snigger), Choji, Shino, and Iruka, who were a crucial aspect of what made the series great in its heyday.

Well, at the very least, people like Shikamaru and Kakashi are at least somewhat important, if nothing else.

19. The Sheer Power Of Both Naruto And Sasuke.

While we might've already mentioned the fact that Naruto has been nerfed quite a bit in Boruto, this fact definitely deserves a further glance. In fact, Naruto is not the only person who suffered from this — Sasuke's powers have also unfortunately gone down the drain as well.

The two shinobi who used to be absolute powerhouses by the end of the original series are nothing more than a shell of their former selves in Boruto. It's a darn shame since we would've liked to see more of their astounding power in new combat scenarios.

18. The Era Of Peace That Was Supposedly Ushered In After The Fourth Shinobi World War.

The Fourth Shinobi World War was a landmark event that completely rocked the ninja world as we know it. Oh, and it's also considered by many to be one of the most bloated, rushed, and uninteresting arcs in Naruto... but let's keep that out of the way for now.

The fact of the matter is that the end of this war was supposedly going to bring about a new era of peace and harmony. However, if you've seen Boruto, then you know for a fact that things are still as problematic as ever.

While the scale of these problems might not be all that massive, it's still a worrying development nevertheless.

17. Naruto's Ramen Obsession.

I think I'm not just speaking for myself when I say that Naruto sparked a love of Japanese food in me. To be more precise, he made me love one particular dish that served as an introduction to Japanese cuisine — ramen.

The times when Naruto used to have food at Ichigakure Ramen and absolutely demolish their food is long gone. Now, with the massive responsibility of being the Hokage, it seems that the days of Naruto hogging massive amounts of food is behind him now.

16. The Tradition Behind Team 10'S Leadership.

The leadership status of Team 10 has always been quite iconic for a whole host of reasons. Generally, this team consisted of three members from the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka family. These three whippersnappers would then be led by a member of the Sarutobi clan.

However — in classic Boruto fashion — this age-old ritual has also been broken in the latest installment. While the children from all three families are still constant, the ninja leading them — Moegi — has no relation to the Sarutobi clan.

You can bet that fans were less than happy about this development... or — dare I say — was it a genuine oversight?

15. The Stuff That Sakura Faced At The Hand Of Sasuke.

Ever since the start of the series, one thing was always constant — Sakura had intense feelings for Sasuke. However, childhood crushes rarely stay permanent, and things developed to a point where Sasuke completely disregarded Sakura's feeling and treated her like — for lack of a better word — crap.

So, you'd think that after facing all this stuff, Sakura would shun her crush and go for a man who treated her properly, right?

WRONG.

She ended up with Sasuke only, which was one of the many decisions in Boruto that fans felt wronged by.

14. The Capable Nature Of Ninjas.

The status of jōnin, and — to an extent, even chūnin — is something that denotes the effectiveness of a particular ninja. Achieving this rank is nothing short of amazing, and goes to show just how powerful your skills are.

However, one look at the events of the latest series, and you might be forgiven for being confused. All of the ninjas who've received these ranks are woefully inept at their jobs, with freaking low-ranking genin being a hundred times more efficient and result-oriented than them.

13. The Potential Of Female Ninjas.

As much as I hate to say it, it must be said that Kishimoto did a horrible job of making any of his female characters interesting. They were either a plot point for the protagonists to find their drive to move forward, or served as nothing more than an excuse for fan service.

Kishimoto could've redeemed himself by making Kaguya seem like the most unassailable threat to mankind's existence... but then even she was taken care of with little to no issues.

What. A. Waste.

12. The Fact That Children Need To Be Kept Safe.

Regardless of how the shinobi world might carry out its day-to-day activities, you can't sit and convince me of the fact that it's perfectly fine for children to embark on quests that can put them in substantial danger, which includes the possibility that their life might be snuffed out as well.

This was a problem that plagued the original series as well but reached a whole new level in Boruto: Naruto Next Generations. Now, we have a bunch of kids duking it out in highly dangerous situations... simply because the stakes need to be raised high for any scenario to be even remotely interesting.

11. The Interesting Character Development Of Naruto.

It feels like we're circling back to Naruto time and time again, but the fact of the matter is that this character has suffered the most with the advent of the latest series. We've literally seen him grow from a young, lonely brat into a sensible adult who is loved by everyone.

But, fast-forward to the events of Boruto, and it seems that Naruto has forgotten everything that led him to become such a distinguished enigma in the first place. He doesn't treasure his relationships, has lower power levels, and has generally regressed across a number of verticals.

10. The Highly Durable Nature Of Naruto.

It seems that we simply can't talk about the problems of Boruto's tale without mentioning his father time and time again. However, such are the transgressions that the latest series commits that it's impossible for us to ignore him as well.

Naruto is supposed to be incredibly durable... and yet, there are times when he's been dispatched with ease. Kinshiki and Momoshiki were able to take him with ease, but that's still forgivable.

What is not forgettable is the fact that the most powerful shinobi — arguably of all time — was knocked out in a single blow by his daughter.

9. His Constant And Unwavering Need To Become Hokage.

The knockout blow that Himawari landed on Naruto was enough to take care of him for an entire day. While this might be alright after a bit of cribbing, the worst part is that this happened on the very day when Naruto was to be inaugurated as the Seventh Hokage!

So, in other words, the very day that Naruto pined for his entire life went to waste because he got knocked out by his freakin' daughter,

If that's not a slap in the face of fans all over the world, then we don't know what is.

8. Naruto's Whiskers Being Indicative Of The Fox Spirit Inside Him.

The entire reasons why Naruto has his whiskers isn't because of a misplaced style statement. Rather, it's because of the fact that the spirit of the Nine-Tailed Fox resided in him, contributing to a rather striking outward presence.

However, this brings to light another plot hole — unlike Naruto, Boruto and Himawari don't have Kurama's chakra in them. If this happens to be the case, then why is it that both of Naruto's kids have the same exact whiskers as his father? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

7. The Introverted Shino Who Gets A Teaching Job.

While Shino didn't get the screen time he rightfully deserved, the fact of the matter is that he was still an interesting character who was liked by the majority of the fanbase. There was one personality trait of his in particular that endeared him to fans — Shino was somewhat introverted and preferred to spend time with his insects.

So, if that's the case, then it's kinda stupid that — by the time Boruto: Naruto Next Generationsrolled out — Shino became an instructor at the academy.

How can someone with zero social skills handle an entire academy full of boisterous children?!

6. Anko's Previous Character Doesn't Fit Her Redesign.

The character of Anko was a highly interesting one. While her appearance and relevance in the original Naruto series might've been brief, it was still notable enough for fans to keep this character in the back of their minds.

However, as Boruto rolled out, fans noticed a development that they simply can't take out of their heads anymore — Anko lost control of her discipline and became quite heavy! This definitely doesn't fit in with Anko's character, and now she's become nothing short of a joke.

A big, bloated,  joke.

5. Choji And Karui Having No Romantic History Whatsoever.

When Boruto's story made its debut, fans were understandably perplexed at the fact that so many of the couples that kickstarted the new generation were quite... random, for lack of a better word. While there are some sensible couplings like that of Naruto and Hinata, other people were grouped together simply for the heck of it.

The partnership of Choji and Karui is a great example. Both individuals have seemingly nothing in common and never really interacted on a romantic level in the original series. So, how is it that both these people ended up marrying with zero chemistry?

4. Naruto's Sage Mode.

Sage Mode is an incredibly powerful transformation, allowing Naruto to reach a new level of power that let him take care of Pain and save Konoha once and for all. However, after this amazing battle, Sage Mode is criminally underutilized by Naruto.

However, there are several moments where this mode could've proven to be quite useful in Boruto. Take the example of the battle with Nue — Naruto is advised not to fight this creature since he could absorb the Nine-Tailed chakra and become even stronger.

However, with Sage Mode, the chakra that Nue absorbs would transform him into a frog, making the fight trivial in every sense of the word.

3. Naruto Mastering His Shadow Clone Jutsu.

The Shadow Clone jutsu is one of the hardest clone techniques to master, and Naruto — to his credit — was able to master the technique with just one glance at the scroll. It showed that Naruto did have some talent and could give high-level shinobi a run for their money.

However, the usability of the Shadow Clone technique is barely touched upon in Boruto.

One simple misstep is enough for Naruto's clone to disappear, while the impact should ideally be far greater. In fact, Naruto should use his clones to handle boring paperwork while he spends some quality time with his family.

2. The Entire Fourth Ninja World War And Its Implications.

The Fourth Ninja War was a major arc in the latter half of Naruto, and a groundbreaking war like this is bound to have some grievous implications. However, fast-forward to Boruto, and it's almost like the war had little to no effect.

It's just another fragment of history now.

This should not be the case at all. Wars are traumatic events that can completely alter the mentality of mankind as we know it. If that's the case, then why is it that people go about with their day-to-day lives as if everything is back to normal?

It's not like the war happened ages ago, and the memory of it should still be fresh in the minds of people in the shinobi universe to this day.

1. The Problem Caused By Criminal Organisations Like The Akatsuki.

The Akatsuki was one of the most diabolical organizations around. They were the driving force that caused tons of mayhem all over the shinobi world, finally culminating in an all-out declaration of war against the entire world!

In Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, there's a new criminal organization called Kara.

However, instead of giving this threat its due importance, the higher-ups at Konoha allow a simple genin like Boruto to investigate this organization. If they'd learned their mistakes from before, then the ideal thing to do would've been to nip the threat in the bud before anything serious happens.